Button Pusher

Ginger Blaze:    Good morning, this is Ginger.

Irate Caller:       Hi, I need to speak to someone about my bill.

Ginger Blaze:    You need to speak to Accounts/Payable; I’ll transfer you.

Irate Caller:       No, no, I just got voicemail, so I connected over to you somehow.

Ginger Blaze:    That’s interesting. Can I ask how did you get this number?

Irate Caller:       I just punched in some random numbers. It was the 5th voicemail box I got today.

Ginger Blaze:    You just pushed random numbers?

Irate Caller:       Yeah, and I’m not going to let you transfer me until I get some answers about my bill!

Ginger Blaze:    Um, okay, may I put you on hold while I find someone who can answer your questions?

Irate Caller:       Oh, no. You cannot. I’m wise to that little game.  You’re going to answer me.

Ginger Blaze:    Sir, I’m not even in Accounts/Payable.

Irate Caller:       So?

Ginger Blaze:    So, asking me questions about your bill will be as fruitful as asking your dog.

Irate Caller:       I don’t have a dog.

Ginger Blaze:    Get one. Ask your dog. See how far you get.

Irate Caller:       I’ll take my chances with you.

Ginger Blaze:    Fine. What is your question?

Irate Caller:       Why is my bill so high?

Ginger Blaze:    It’s on the top shelf. If you put it on the floor, it’ll be lower.

Irate Caller:       What?!

Ginger Blaze:    Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Irate Caller:       I could report you!

Ginger Blaze:    Yes. Yes you could. But I’d have to transfer you to someone else. Unless you plan on reporting me to…me…in which case, I’d reject your complaint with a condescending write-off.  Which would you prefer? Transfer or ‘have a nice day?’

Irate Caller:       Look, you can’t treat me like this, I’m a paying customer!

Ginger Blaze:    Apparently not…You haven’t paid your present bill, yet, have you?

Irate Caller:       No…but that’s because I have questions about it!

Ginger Blaze:    And randomly pushing buttons got you here.

Irate Caller:       I’m going to write a letter!

Ginger Blaze:    Great. Address it to Accounts/Payable and might I suggest you include your frustrations over the bill, voicemail in general and a short paragraph about how pushing buttons gets you…nowhere?

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