Ginger Blaze: Good morning, this is Ginger.
Irate Caller: Hi, I need to speak to someone about my bill.
Ginger Blaze: You need to speak to Accounts/Payable; I’ll transfer you.
Irate Caller: No, no, I just got voicemail, so I connected over to you somehow.
Ginger Blaze: That’s interesting. Can I ask how did you get this number?
Irate Caller: I just punched in some random numbers. It was the 5th voicemail box I got today.
Ginger Blaze: You just pushed random numbers?
Irate Caller: Yeah, and I’m not going to let you transfer me until I get some answers about my bill!
Ginger Blaze: Um, okay, may I put you on hold while I find someone who can answer your questions?
Irate Caller: Oh, no. You cannot. I’m wise to that little game. You’re going to answer me.
Ginger Blaze: Sir, I’m not even in Accounts/Payable.
Irate Caller: So?
Ginger Blaze: So, asking me questions about your bill will be as fruitful as asking your dog.
Irate Caller: I don’t have a dog.
Ginger Blaze: Get one. Ask your dog. See how far you get.
Irate Caller: I’ll take my chances with you.
Ginger Blaze: Fine. What is your question?
Irate Caller: Why is my bill so high?
Ginger Blaze: It’s on the top shelf. If you put it on the floor, it’ll be lower.
Irate Caller: What?!
Ginger Blaze: Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Irate Caller: I could report you!
Ginger Blaze: Yes. Yes you could. But I’d have to transfer you to someone else. Unless you plan on reporting me to…me…in which case, I’d reject your complaint with a condescending write-off. Which would you prefer? Transfer or ‘have a nice day?’
Irate Caller: Look, you can’t treat me like this, I’m a paying customer!
Ginger Blaze: Apparently not…You haven’t paid your present bill, yet, have you?
Irate Caller: No…but that’s because I have questions about it!
Ginger Blaze: And randomly pushing buttons got you here.
Irate Caller: I’m going to write a letter!
Ginger Blaze: Great. Address it to Accounts/Payable and might I suggest you include your frustrations over the bill, voicemail in general and a short paragraph about how pushing buttons gets you…nowhere?