Liar, Liar…

Ginger: Hey.

Ruby: …okay, what happened?

Ginger: What do you mean?

Ruby: You’re almost smiling. Something happened…wait…how many grammatical errors did you fix on the way home?

Ginger: Oh, I don’t know…what’s wrong with me almost smiling?

Ruby: You never smile. It’s part of your…charm…

Ginger: Not smiling is a charming characteristic?

Ruby: On you it is. Now what happened?

Ginger: Nothing.

Ruby: Liar. You didn’t happen to fix the grammar errors in an English textbook again, did you?

Ginger: No! Nothing happened, I swear!

Ruby: Uh-huh…

Ginger: Can I not be in a good mood for once?

Ruby: It’s just…not like you.

Ginger: Well you’re certainly helping me get out of it…

Ruby: Fine, sorry, I was just confused.

Ginger: How was your day?

Ruby: Okay, now that’s just creepy!

Ginger: What?!

Ruby: You never ask about my day…you got promoted!

Ginger: Yeah. Right. Like that would make me consider cracking a smile.

Ruby: You’re right…sorry…

Ginger: It’s okay.

Ruby: Work was fine. I worked on a project where some joker decided to write most of the code in Linear A and it needed to be translated into–okay, wait, are you humming?

Ginger: What? No.

Ruby: No, really, are you humming?

Ginger: …it’s possible…

Ruby: Seriously, what happened?!

Ginger: I swear, nothing happened!

Ruby: I’ll get it out of you eventually…

Ginger: How’s Fly?

Ruby: Busy. What happened?

Ginger: Quit it, all right? Nothing has happened. I didn’t do anything and I didn’t get promoted and I…can hum if I feel like it!

Ruby: Okay. Sorry.

Ginger: So? Fly’s busy?

Ruby: Yeah, the hospital is getting some renovations done and they keep moving patients around from wing to wing and he’s just trying to keep up on everyone’s comings and goings. It’s a good thing he pays attention to details, or he’d probably go insane. You’re humming again.

Ginger: Sorry, I’ll stop.

Ruby: Terry Pratchett released a new book?

Ginger: No, now stop.

Ruby: You will tell me, you know.

Ginger: I had a date, okay?

Ruby: You…you had a date?! Who is he?! What happened? He’s an English teacher, isn’t he? That’s why you’re in a good mood, you didn’t have to correct his grammar during the entire conversation…Who is he?

Ginger: mumble, mumble

Ruby: …what?

Ginger: You heard me.

Ruby: Yes, but I can’t believe you.

Ginger: Ben is a nice guy!

Ruby: You’re insane. You went out with him again?!

Ginger: He is very eloquent!

Ruby: He’d have to be! He’s in front of the judge on a regular basis!

Ginger: There’s no reason why compulsive pyromaniacs cannot date ordinary office lackeys.

Ruby: There’s at least one reason: Fire.

Ginger: Every relationship needs flames of passion every now and again.

Ruby: Yes, but not every relationship winds up in danger of burning the block down!

Ginger: I don’t see why you’re so upset about this. I’m relatively close to thinking about being happy when I’m with him.

Ruby: You’re also relatively close to 3rd degree burns when you’re with him!

Ginger: So, you think I shouldn’t see him again?

Ruby: Were you seriously thinking about it?

Ginger: Um…no…

Ruby: So, in other words, you have the next three weeks planned with him.

Ginger: Only two weeks…he’s got a court date the week after.

Ruby: I thought he was in prison.

Ginger: No, therapy. But he’s much better now.

Ruby: He doesn’t set fire to large warehouses anymore?

Ginger: Exactly!

Ruby: What does he set fire to now?

Ginger: …small warehouses…

Ruby: Ginger…

Ginger: Fine. I won’t go out with him again.

Ruby: Liar. Liar. Pants on…

Ginger: I know…


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