Champagne…Great Pain…Something, Something

Ruby: Okay, I brought the champagne, now, what are we celebrating?

Ginger:Champagne? Why did you bring champagne?

Ruby: You told me to bring champagne…

Ginger: No, I didn’t.

Ruby: You said “Something, something, Champagne I, something, champagne Ruby.”

Ginger: I never said “Something, something…” You clearly weren’t listening.

Ruby: I clearly listened intently, but your phone kept cutting out on you. Which is why I said “your phone is cutting out on you, call me back.” And then hung up. And then you never called me back. So now I’m here. With champagne.

Ginger: Oh. In that case, I said “Something, something, Great Pain, I am in GREAT PAIN, Ruby.” And then said “What did you say? My phone must be having issues. Call me back.” And then hung up. But you never called me back. And then arrived here. With champagne.

Ruby: Oh. What’s the pain?

Ginger: Headache.

Ruby: Too much of the drink?

Ginger: No, too much of the office.

Ruby: Oh, so, the usual?

Ginger: Yeah.

Ruby: Grammar Fools?

Ginger: On top of Copier Fools, Excel Fools, Phone Fools and Life’s Greatest Mysteries Fools.

Ruby: Which ones are those, again?

Ginger: Those are the ones that you look at and think, ‘How Did They Survive To Adulthood?’

Ruby: Ah, yes, your Darwin Hopefuls. Which great moment in history happened today?

Ginger: The ‘Why does the printer keep printing my emails, but the person I’m sending them to doesn’t get them’ question arose.

Ruby: He kept hitting CTRL+P, right?

Ginger: He doesn’t know what CTRL is. He was actually clicking on the Printer button.

Ruby: Oooh… Now, that’s a Life’s Greatest Mystery Fool… How does he sign on in the morning?

Ginger: He never signs off. He thinks the computer will forget where it put all his documents.

Ruby: He knows what a document is?

Ginger: I doubt it…I was being kind.

Ruby: Ah. Well, the good news is, it’s Friday. Let’s celebrate Friday! Have some champagne!

Ginger: Yes, let’s.

Ruby: Did you relieve any stress on the way home?

Ginger: Yeah, but my heart wasn’t in it.

Ruby: You got caught by personnel, didn’t you?

Ginger: No, a janitor.

Ruby: Oh, by the way, what was the “Something, something” before Champagne/Great Pain?

Ginger: “I’m pretty sure everyone here just tries to make me feel useful, but it still causes me nothing but Great Pain.”

Ruby: That’s really long for a “Something, something.”

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