Ginger: I can’t believe you let me talk you into this…
Ruby: What? Driving up to Niagara to surprise Fly at the lecture series he’s attending? Why wouldn’t I want to do that?
Ginger: Because we’re in Canada. It’s almost like I kidnapped you to another country.
Ruby: We can still see the U.S. It’s right over there.
Ginger: Still. I made you go somewhere that required a passport.
Ruby: Where I get to see my boyfriend for the first time in months.
Ginger: Oh…yeah. Hey, do you think Fly will go to another foreign country so I can convince you to go there with me?
Ruby: You’ll have to ask him. (knocks on hotel door)
Fly: Yes? Ruby! What are you doing here?
Ruby: Are you happy to see me?
Fly: Of course! This is great! I can’t believe you showed up on my one free night!
Ruby: You only have one free night? I’m…sorry…?
Fly: Why? I get to see you – this is great! Hi, Ginger, come on in, you two!
Ruby: It was her idea.
Ginger: Hiya, Fly!
Fly: Where are you two staying?
Ginger: Just down the hall. My cyber-stalking finally came in handy.
Ruby: Don’t ask.
Fly: I try not to…except…
Ginger: Ruby, help me with this…
Ruby: What is that?
Ginger: What does it look like?
Fly: The last shred of someone’s sanity.
Ruby: It looks like a barrel.
Ginger: That’s because it is a barrel.
Ruby: Where are the monkeys?
Ginger: It’s not a barrel of monkeys, Ruby. It’s a Barrel of Fun.
Fly: So, I was right. It is the last shred of someone’s sanity.
Ruby: Ginger, why do you have a barrel?
Ginger: We are at Niagara Falls, aren’t we?
Fly: I was so right! …I hate being this right…
Ruby: We are not riding a barrel over the Falls, Ginger.
Ginger: Of course we’re not. That’s silly…
Ruby: Then why do you have a barrel?
Fly: How did you not see she had a barrel this whole time?
Ginger: I mean, the three of us could never fit inside one barrel…even two of us wouldn’t fit…
Ruby: Ginger – NO.
Fly: Hang on…Ginger, what is your exact plan for the barrel?
Ruby: Use your words…
Ginger: I will…when I have them…in order…
Fly: Do you know what happens to people who get in barrels at Niagara Falls?
Ginger: They…have a barrel…of…fun?
Fly: Doing what, exactly?
Ginger: Well. They get in. In the barrel. And. Um. Is there more? I got distracted reading the pamphlets.
Ruby: Seriously? You read a pamphlet?
Ginger: More like…skimmed…one… It had a rainbow on it!
Fly: Ginger, if we let you get into your…Barrel of Fun…can Ruby and I go to dinner? You’ll be content, just sitting here…in your Barrel of Fun? At the hotel? By yourself?
Ginger: I wouldn’t be by myself, Fly. I’d have the Barrel of Fun!
Ruby: Leave the TV remote nearby. You don’t want to know if she figures out how to roll the Barrel of Fun around or not.
Fly: If I don’t leave the remote nearby, won’t she just fall asleep?
Ruby: You really want to take that chance?
Fly: Good point. Ginger, I’m going to—never mind.
Ruby: How does she fall asleep that fast?
Fly: And inside a barrel?
Ruby: According to her mother, she used to fall asleep underneath the bed. I’m not really surprised by the barrel.
Fly: Underneath the bed?
Ruby: She didn’t want the monsters to get lonely.
Fly: Hm. So…dinner?
Fly: I like surprises like this.
Ruby: Me, too. I’m glad she talked me into this.
Fly: Me, too.
Ruby: I don’t even mind the barrel right now.