Original Ideas

Ginger: Hey, Ruby.

Ruby: Hey.

Ginger: What’s wrong?

Ruby: Hmm? Oh, nothing.

Ginger: Come on, you can tell me.

Ruby: Could you define “original idea” for me?

Ginger: Sure. An original idea is an idea no one else has had before. It’s like, um, oh! It’s like Star Wars: A New Hope pre-1977.

Ruby: How about in non-geek examples?

Ginger: It’s like “It was a dark and stormy night…” pre-Paul Clifford.

Ruby: Do you have trouble discerning the difference between ‘geek’ and ‘non-geek’ examples?

Ginger: It’s like thinking it’s a bargain to pay $2.27 for a gallon of gas, pre-2005.

Ruby: Getting warmer…

Ginger: Why do you need an original idea?

Ruby: Well, my team leader requested everyone come up with an ‘original idea’ by Friday’s meeting, and I’m having a little trouble thinking of one.

Ginger: Wow. That’s hard to think about…

Ruby: What is?

Ginger: There’s someone higher than a computer guru?

Ruby: Team Leader. Even gurus need someone to be Team Leader…someone to herd us together towards one goal…

Ginger: So, gurus are like sheep?

Ruby: How about you focus that energy on something worthwhile, like an original idea?

Ginger: Here’s an original idea: “Get your own printouts instead of sicking the office lackey on the printer.”

Ruby: Um…what?

Ginger: Nothing.

Ruby: Okay.

Ginger: I mean, I could understand if they sent me to retrieve the printouts if their legs are broken or I’m on my way over there, but if they’re just too lazy to get off their ergonomic vibrating chairs to collect the 50 pages they printed out, that’s just stupid and a serious waste of my morning.

Ruby: Okay, so I’m pretty sure it’s not an original idea to collect your own printouts.

Ginger: It is to them.

Ruby: Right, so my office…original idea…

Ginger: Yeah…what is it relating to? New programs or something?

Ruby: I wasn’t actually given any real parameters.

Ginger: Ooh, two points for the big word in average conversation.

Ruby: Thanks, I try.

Ginger: There you go!

Ruby: What?

Ginger: You could use our vocabulary enhancing way of life in the office as your original idea. For every point you receive, you get to take that hour off as extra paid vacation.

Ruby: Ginger, no matter how hard you try, you’re still going to get screwed over when you try to squeeze your two-week vacation time into the two-week and three days you have scheduled for the Sydney trip.

Ginger: I can try.

Ruby: Okay, one last time: my office.

Ginger: I don’t know why you bother asking for my help when you don’t even use it.

Ruby: Maybe I just enjoy knowing someone else is as stumped as I am.

Ginger: Maybe. Or you’re just jealous cause I have all the brainstorms.

Ruby: This from the woman who gets distracted by shiny objects.

Ginger: Where?!

Ruby: Ginger! Original ideas…

Ginger: Original…original…original…oh! I know!

Ruby: Yes, Elmo?

Ginger: You could…Elmo?

Ruby: Elmo’s very first appearance on “Sesame Street” involved him running around screaming “Original, original, original” until one of the human characters explained to him what “original” meant, then he ran around screaming “Original, original, original! Elmo is original!”

Ginger: Oh, yeah…

Ruby: You forgot your bright idea just now, didn’t you?

Ginger: Well, if you would stick to one subject, I might be able to follow.

Ruby: If I stuck to one subject?!

Ginger: There’s no use denying it. You’re as distractible as an office lackey at a printer, waiting for 50 pages to finish printing.

Ruby: And you’d know this…because…you’re…

Ginger: Is this a new word game?

Ruby: Never mind.

Ginger: No fair! You didn’t tell me we were playing a game!



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