I Call It “Night Nurse By Day”

Ginger: Ruby! I have it!

Ruby: Please tell me it’s not contagious.

Ginger: No, silly – I know how I can finally make a million dollars and never have to work again!

Ruby: Okay, for the last time: counterfeiting is a crime. As in, punishable by law.

Ginger: I looked it up. You weren’t lying about that.

Ruby: I’m so glad Wikipedia backed me up.

Ginger: This is a new plan. And, you’ll be happy to hear, it’s legal.

Ruby: In all States or just most?

Ginger: All. Wait…I might have to check on Utah…but I’m pretty sure it is.

Ruby: As scared as I am, my curiosity is actually winning me over. What is your idea?

Ginger: I just have to come up with the ideal TV show and sell it and then just watch the money flow into my living room.

Ruby: Ah.

Ginger: What? I already came up with a title. I call it “Night Nurse By Day.” Or just “Night Nurse.” What do you think? Gold, right?

Ruby: You didn’t quit your job yet, did you?

Ginger: No, I figured I’d keep that for funzees. And days when I get bored of counting my ever-incoming money.

Ruby: Okay. Good.

Ginger: Don’t you want to hear my TV show? I know what’s hot right now.

Ruby: You should…you watch enough TV.

Ginger: Right? Anyway, do you want to hear my TV show idea or not?

Ruby: Please. Lay it on me.

Ginger: Okay. It’s about a night nurse who solves crimes while she’s watching over the comatose patients in the B Wing who wanted to be a ballet dancer, but couldn’t get a welding job to pay her bills during dance college so now on her weekends, she dances at the local nightclub and sometimes that’s where she gets the ‘Aha! Moment’ to solve the crime and she’s also trying to solve the murder of her best friend and family that was originally pinned on her, so she spent 12 years in prison for a crime she didn’t commit, until DNA evidence surfaced proving she didn’t do it and so now she has a large sum of money at her disposal from the lawsuit against the state for wrongful imprisonment…also, she sings Journey songs in the high school glee club. And she’s played by Jewel Staite.

Ruby: Glossing over the “dance college” statement…how could she have spent 12 years in prison, be a nurse, sing in a high school glee club and still be played by Jewel Staite?

Ginger: Are you suggesting Jewel can’t play a believable high school student?

Ruby: What I’m saying is that in order to be a nurse who spent 12 years in prison, she’d be out of high school.

Ginger: Oh, I forgot the most important part: She’s a vampire. Vampires are big right now.

Ruby: …yeah, we’re going back to the “dance college” statement. You know there’s no such thing as “dance college” in the way you think there is, right?

Ginger: Like vampires are real? Ruby…it’s called “suspension of disbelief.”

Ruby: What do you call it when you have to suspend your suspension of disbelief?

Ginger: Metafiction.

Ruby: On TV?

Ginger: “Psych.”

Ruby: Right. Of course. Because they reference movies all the time. What was I thinking?

Ginger: Very few people know.

Ruby: Do you think, maybe, you could pare down the idea?

Ginger: To what? A vampire night nurse trying to hide the fact she’s a vampire from the world who solves medical mysteries and still trying to solve a murder mystery from her own past? That’s way too simple, Ruby. No one would ever get into it.

Ruby: Does she have to be a vampire?

Ginger: Vampires are big right now, Ruby. Very big.

Ruby: Okay…but a nurse?

Ginger: Nurses are big now, too.

Ruby: Really?

Ginger: Yes. Trust me – I watch TV.

Ruby: Please never, ever say that again.

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