Do Chickens Have Fingers?

(Ruby’s cell phone rings. She answers.)

Ruby: Caller ID is a marvelous thing. What’s up?

Ginger: Ruby…where are you?

Ruby: In the kitchen making dinner. Why?

Ginger: What’s for dinner?

Ruby: Chicken fingers. I repeat: Why?

Ginger: Chickens have fingers?

Ruby: Do I even dignify that with a response?

Ginger: Depends, is asking a rhetorical question about responding to a ridiculously foolish question considered a response or is it just acknowledging the presence of a ridiculously foolish question?

Ruby: I’m non-commitally acknowledging a ridiculously foolish question.

Ginger: I see.

Ruby: So, why?

Ginger: Because I have eyes that work properly.

Ruby: Ginger…

Ginger: You asked why I see, I answered. Don’t pinch the bridge of your nose over this.

Ruby: You know me a little too well.

Ginger: Thank you, I pride myself on knowing friends and co-conspirators.

Ruby: Happy to inflate your ego that much more. Wait, co-conspirators?! What am I co-conspiring on?

Ginger: How long till the chicken fingers don’t need your undivided attention?

Ruby: Define ‘undivided attention.’

Ginger: You can leave the house.

Ruby: Can’t.

Ginger: Can’t or Don’t Wanna?

Ruby: More like Don’t Wanna.

Ginger: gasp!

Ruby: Did you just truly say the word “gasp?”

Ginger: Yes. The moment called for not just a gasp, but also the statement of the word ‘gasp.’

Ruby: Right.

Ginger: Why don’t you want to?

Ruby: Fly’s over. I’m making him dinner and we’re going to eat it and then watch a movie.

Ginger: All by yourself? That’s boring!

Ruby: Says the woman who rents three movies at a time by herself and watches them all weekend.

Ginger: But now I need to leave the apartment.

Ruby: Why?

Ginger: I just had a flash of brilliance!

Ruby: I’m actually now filled with an understanding of the true meaning of the word “terrified.”

Ginger: Wimp.

Ruby: I’ll have you know I drove in rush hour traffic with the air conditioning not working properly. Don’t call me a wimp.

Ginger: Why didn’t you fix it?

Ruby: I was on my way to the store to get the replacement piece. I couldn’t fix it quite yet.

Ginger: Ooh. Understandable. I retract the wimp remark.

Ruby: Good. So, since there’s no way of getting around it, what was your flash of brilliance?

Ginger: Um…

Ruby: Ginger?

Ginger: I said it was a “FLASH” okay?

Ruby: You forgot.

Ginger: Well, we went on a lot of tangents!!!

Ruby: I’m hanging up now.

Ginger: Fine. Go enjoy your boring evening.

Ruby: Thank you, I shall. You enjoy yours.

Ginger: I guess it’s back to re-organizing my CD’s.

Ruby: Alphabetically?

Ginger: Puh-leeze. First by band, then year of release, then genre, then–

Ruby: Hanging up now.

Ginger: Bye.

Ruby: Bye.



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