Stupidly Natural

Ruby: Ginger?

Ginger: Ruby?

Ruby: There you are. Get your shoes on. Let’s roll.

Ginger: Where are we going?

Ruby: Doesn’t matter where we go, we’re just getting you away.

Ginger: Away from what?

Ruby: That.

Ginger: My computer?

Ruby: Not exactly. More like, what is on your computer.

Ginger: A lil’kinz cat named Parker?

Ruby: Oh, you named it Parker?

Ginger: Yeah, it’s referencing three shows I’ve become obsessed with – Leverage, mostly, then Bones and finally Veronica Mars.

Ruby: Nifty. But I was talking about the image that you have paused on your screen. Right now. And I’m afraid you’re going to name your next ‘kinz after someone from there.

Ginger: Supernatural? Please. I wouldn’t name any ‘kinz after the Winchesters.

Ruby: Really?

Ginger: Duh.

Ruby: Why not?

Ginger: Because then my ‘kinz house would be haunted and I can’t do that to Starla and the others.

Ruby: Okay, fine. We’re still getting you away from your computer.

Ginger: Why?

Ruby: Your cable box called me. It’s concerned about you.

Ginger: What?

Ruby: You haven’t turned on your TV in four days.

Ginger: Some people would think that’s a good thing.

Ruby: Not when you’re spending TV time watching old episodes of…that show…on your computer.

Ginger: My DVR player broke, I had to watch the DVD’s somewhere.

Ruby: Ginger…

Ginger: Look, there’s nothing on TV that I’m missing!

Ruby: But you’re starting to scare the locals.

Ginger: How? I’m not quoting it every two minutes, I haven’t been babbling on about the merits of the show. I’m not writing fanfics, or lining my window ledges and doorways with salt. And I haven’t had nightmares, despite the freaky nature of most of this show. How am I scaring the locals?

Ruby: …you’re not becoming obsessed with the show?

Ginger: No. What would make you think that? This show is hilarious. And not in the way it thinks it is.

Ruby: Well, it’s just that…normally when you watch these shows with such a dedication…you tend to go a bit overboard.

Ginger: Overboard? Like when?

Ruby: Like learning how to swear in Chinese, or insisting you’ve “flashed” on a guy and making me follow him for three blocks before you realized you’ve seen him at your grocery store and it was a false alarm or knocking on my door while calling out “NCIS,” or —

Ginger: Hey, that was funny, admit it.

Ruby: Not to my neighbors. Or when we went to the museum and you started listing off all the ways bones indicate ethnicity, gender, age and favorite past-times. Or when you went a week only speaking in iambic pentameter.

Ginger: In my defense, I was reading a lot of Shakespeare at the time.

Ruby: Exactly. You find these things and then you latch onto them and I just…didn’t want to come home to find you with a shotgun filled with rock salt aiming at my fridge, just because it makes a weird humming noise that you insist is a ghost.

Ginger: Don’t be ridiculous.

Ruby: You wouldn’t do that?

Ginger: If there’s a noise coming from your fridge, my first assumption would be that it’s Zuul and then I would need my proton pack.

Ruby: Okay, you’re right. I should have seen that coming.

Ginger: I mean, c’mon. My glass eye, Ruby. My glass eye.

Ruby: Yeah. But you see my point?

Ginger: Yes. But honestly, the show is entertaining for now, but in the fall, my regular shows are going to be back and I’ll have worthwhile television feeding my bizarre obsessions. Right now, I’m just bored and the DVD’s were on sale at the…

Ruby: At the…?

Ginger: How did you know about the shotguns filled with rock salt?

Ruby: What?

Ginger: You don’t…you couldn’t possibly watch Supernatural. There’s too many icky and scary things in it.

Ruby: I don’t watch it. Fly has seen some episodes and warned me that you might show up flinging salt every which way.

Ginger: You’re…you’re not Ruby! You’re a shapeshifter!

Ruby: Ginger…

Ginger: Get out of here or I’ll get the silver and end you!

Ruby: Silver kills shapeshifters?

Ginger: According to Sam and Dean, but I had my doubts.

Ruby: This is what we were worried about.

Ginger: Are you sure you’re not a shapeshifter?

Ruby: Yes.

Ginger: How sure?

Ruby: Pretty sure.

Ginger: Only pretty sure?

Ruby: Really pretty sure.

Ginger: SHAPESHIFTER!!!!

Ruby: What are you talking about?

Ginger: That’s an exchange from the Winchesters, which PROVES you’ve seen the show and that you CANNOT BE MY RUBY! Where is she? Did you leave her in the sewers? Answer me, foul beast!

Ruby: You’re really enjoying this aren’t you?

Ginger: A little.

Ruby: You’re really not obsessed?

Ginger: Why would I get obsessed over a horror-genre TV show? I sleep with three stuffed animals as it is – and that’s when I’m not scared of things that go bump in the night.

Ruby: Promise you’re just bored?

Ginger: Cross my heart.

Ruby: Okay. But so help me, if you start trying to throw salt around…

Ginger: Puh-leez. If anything, I’d start looking for a black 1967 Chevy Impala. That car is frickin’ sweet.

Ruby: Impala? THAT’S why you’ve been watching!

Ginger: Uh. Yeah.

Ruby: Thank goodness! That whole “I’m so bored” thing just didn’t make sense. Usually, you just re-watch Bones, Leverage, Firefly, Chuck, NewsRadio

Ginger: I get it. I watch a lot of TV shows. So, y’ready?

Ruby: For what?

Ginger: That new movie is playing down the street. I told Fly to get you over here somehow so we could go see it.

Ruby: Really? Then why didn’t he just say that? I mean, I thought it was weird that he called me to get you away from your DVD’s…

Ginger: What did he tell you?

Ruby: You needed to be forcibly removed from your apartment.

Ginger: I wonder why he said that.

Ruby: I don’t know…what exactly did you say to him?

Ginger: I think it was

“RubydidntanswerherphonesonowImjustgonnatellyouallabouthow DeanWinchesterissofreakinghotandhedrivesa1967ChevyImpala andheandhisbrotherdriveacrossthecountryhuntingghostsanddemons andothernastiesandpleasesendRubysowecanseeamoviebecause otherwiseI’mgoingtocontinueblatheringonaboutSupernaturalandsince I’vespentthelast4dayswatchingitonDVDsandyoushouldknowIcanblatheronaboutitforareallylongtime.”

But I could be mistaken.

Ruby: If only you could use those powers for good, instead of evil.

Ginger: Maybe someday…

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