Mayans Predicted This Conversation

Ginger: Hi, Ruby.

Ruby: Hi, Ginger.

Ginger: You sound upset. What’s wrong?

Ruby: You sound tired. What happened?

Ginger: I had a dream within a nightmare within a dream last night.

Ruby: You’re the only person I know who does that.

Ginger: It’s a gift. A very tiring gift.

Ruby: I get it.

Ginger: So. What’s wrong?

Ruby: I did not take out the recycling today.

Ginger: Were you supposed to?

Ruby: I usually do on Mondays.

Ginger: Then why didn’t you?

Ruby: I didn’t want to go outside. Also, someone took the recycling bin.

Ginger: I’m sorry, repeat that please?

Ruby: Someone took the recycling bin. It’s not in the garbage and recycling room.

Ginger: Did they leave a note? Something that says “Dear Cindy Lou Who, there’s a blinking light on this recycling bin that isn’t blinking properly, so I’m taking it back to my workshop to fix it and will bring it back forthwith. Signed, The Recycling Grinch – I mean, Recycling Fairy”?

Ruby: No. Also – don’t make me confiscate your Dr. Seuss collection.

Ginger: Doesn’t this horrible person understand that if they don’t bring back the recycling bin that you can’t recycle and that if you can’t recycle, then the world will end in December?

Ruby: …I’m pretty sure there’s nothing like that in the Mayan Calendar, Ginger.

Ginger: No, I’m pretty sure the Mayans predicted exactly that.

Ruby: Well, the Mayans can predict whatever they want. We all know that because I’m suffering without a recycling bin, the world will go on forever – just so I can continue to suffer.

Ginger: Well, the Mayans predicted that the world will end…or that their calendar will just run out…in December 2012. So, you’ll suffer until December. At least. The world ending might be the start of the zombie apocalypse, in which case, you’ll suffer over the lack of recycling bin and zombies in your front lawn trying to get in so they can eat your brains.

Ruby: Zombies in a front lawn I don’t have?

Ginger: Front lawn, back lawn, side lawn…all lawns. Also, I think they just got into the basement. And on the roof.

Ruby: Wow. It looks pretty bleak for me in your interpretation of the Mayan Calendar Doomsday Predictions.

Ginger: I’m sorry, Ruby. Sometimes I just tell it like it comes to me.

Ruby: I really shouldn’t call you when you’re playing “Left 4 Dead” with your brothers.

Ginger: Ooh! Do you have a cricket bat at your disposal? You might survive a little longer if you have one of those.

Ruby: You are a fountain of helpful advice.

Ginger: I do what I can.


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