Shopping Cart of…

Ginger: It’s a Memorial Day Miracle!

Ruby: Right. We found the store.

Ginger: Yeah. Who knew it was where we left it?

Ruby: Hush. What do we need again?

Ginger: You know what would have been smart?

Ruby: A list?

Ginger: Maybe.

Ruby: We’ll put that down as a “Maybe Next Time.”

Ginger: Yeah, along with Umbrellas For When It Rains And We Parked Farther From The Movie Theatre Than Planned.

Ruby: It never helps to live in the past. Let’s shop, shall we?

Ginger: Let’s. Oh! Didn’t we need that?

Ruby: The large sheet cake that says ‘Happy 50th Anniversary?’

Ginger: Yeah!

Ruby: Ginger…there’s two of us.

Ginger: So?

Ruby: Why don’t you think about that while we walk away?

Ginger: You’re saying we don’t have a 50th Anniversary we should be happy about?

Ruby: I’m saying it’s not on the list.

Ginger: We don’t have a list.

Ruby: If we did, it wouldn’t be on the list.

Ginger: Not if I had a pen…

Ruby: What was that?

Ginger: Nothing.

Ruby: Okay, so what did we come here with the intent to buy?

Ginger: Ice cream.

Ruby: Um, you have ice cream.

Ginger: Not chocolate fudge ripple with fudge chunks.

Ruby: Technically, no, you seem to be out of that, but, we don’t really need chocolate fudge ripple with fudge chunks. We’ll be fine with just toffee bars and Neapolitan ice cream sandwiches and the five pints of Ben & Jerry’s.

Ginger: But chocolate fudge ripple with fudge chunks has a cute little tap-dancing penguin on the box!

Ruby: Don’t make me take away your credit card.

Ginger: Tap-dancing penguin!

Ruby: Okay, I’ll give you a choice. Tap-dancing penguin or sheet cake.

Ginger: Tap-dancing penguin.

Ruby: Okay, but no sheet cake for you…

Ginger: No, wait…I…um…

Ruby: Step away from the freezer and I’ll let you think about it and decide later.

Ginger: Um…okay…but…

Ruby: Come with me down the girly-aisle. It’ll help you think clearly.

Ginger: Didn’t we need hot dogs?

Ruby: See? Girly-aisle equals thinking clearly.

Ginger: What?

Ruby: Never mind. Look! Hot dogs!

Ginger: IwishIhadamilliondollars. Hot dog!

Ruby: What?

Ginger: Nothing. Jimmy Stewart moment.

Ruby: Right. What else did we need?

Ginger: Um…hot dog buns.

Ruby: Okay. There they are, over there. Next?

Ginger: Booze.

Ruby: Aside from booze.

Ginger: Tap-dancing penguins on a sheet cake.

Ruby: Booze aisle. Let’s roll.

Ginger: Ooh, there’s a sale on the Turtle Mixed Drinks In Bottles!

Ruby: They made it blue.

Ginger: Blue Turtle. Let’s get it!

Ruby: Ginger, it doesn’t even—

Ginger: It’s blue, Ruby! Blue makes everything 50 times more awesome than normal!

Ruby: Is that a fact?

Ginger: Yes. If the tap-dancing penguin were blue, even threats of bodily harm could not sway me from buying it.

Ruby: I’ll keep that in mind.

Ginger: If they were blue, I’d eat vegetables constantly.

Ruby: I can make that happen, y’know.

Ginger: Really?

Ruby: Probably. But let’s get the booze and go.

Ginger: Blue?

Ruby: Blue Turtle it is.

Ginger: Excellent!

Ruby: But no sheet cake and no tap-dancing penguin.

Ginger: Um…okay.

Ruby: That’s okay?

Ginger: What did you miss about blue making things better?

Ruby: Nothing, but I still expected a small amount of whining.

Ginger: I could whine if it’ll make you feel better.

Ruby: It really wouldn’t make me feel better…

Ginger: Was that really all we needed? Hot dogs, buns and booze?

Ruby: Did you want anything else?

Ginger: How about nachos?

Ruby: Sounds like a plan.

Ginger: And a tap-dancing penguin?

Ruby: Do we need to go back to the girly-aisle?

Ginger: No. Could we get blue nacho cheese?

Ruby: No.

Ginger: Blue chips?

Ruby: I’ll think about it.

Ginger: It’ll match the booze…

Ruby: You are so weird.

Ginger: And yet you hang out with me.

Ruby: Yeah. I’ll look into the why’s for that later. Where did they hide the chips?

Ginger: I don’t know. They should really label these aisles better.

Ruby: What did you want? ‘Nacho Aisle,’ ‘Blue Foods Aisle,’ and ‘Booze Corner?’

Ginger: See? You understand my needs.

Ruby: While ignoring you, I’m going to point out that the nachos are right there in front of you.

Ginger: Oh, yeah, they are… To the check-out, Ruby!

Ruby: Okay, but I’m not humming the Batman theme this time.

Ginger: You’re going to make me look like an idiot all by my lonesome?

Ruby: Yup.

Ginger: Wimp. What about the Pink Panther theme?

Ruby: Try again.


Ruby: Ooh! Now you’re talking!


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