Je Suis Espion…

Ginger: Ruby? Are you here?

Ruby: Physically, yes. Why?

Ginger: Because if you weren’t here, I’d be talking to myself.

Ruby: Don’t you mean ‘complaining’ to yourself?

Ginger: I haven’t started complaining yet, so no. I mean I’d be talking to myself.

Ruby: Okay. 3…2…1…

Ginger: So, today, I was approached by a former supervisor asking where some information is being kept. I informed him that all that information was in a folder under the most capable hands of Mandy. Three times, in three different ways, I was asked the same question. I answered him, three different times, in the same way each time, that Mandy has all that information now.

Ruby: I just can’t believe it…

Ginger: I know! I… Are you listening to me?

Ruby: Fly’s a spy.

Ginger: I’m trying to tell you–I’m sorry, what?

Ruby: Fly is a spy. He’s a spy. For the Communists.

Ginger: Did I really hear you correctly?

Ruby: He is a spy. He’s a Communist spy. A spy for the Communists.

Ginger: Am I really awake?

Ruby: He’s very good at it, too. He blends in with society, he finds all sorts of information that is easy to come by, if you’re not a spy for the Commies. He’s not someone you’d suspect. He’s a spy.

Ginger: I think I got lost in the conversation…could we try starting again? I’ll walk in and ask if you’re home…

Ruby: Would you suspect Fly of being an expert in espionage? No. No one would. That’s why he’s so good.

Ginger: Did you take an expired aspirin or something?

Ruby: I mean, look at the pictures here. You wouldn’t believe it to look at him, would you?

Ginger: I’m going to get you some water…are you feverish?

Ruby: Look, just look…blue button-down shirt and khakis…there’s no covert attitude in those relaxed shoulders! You don’t suspect him of Commie scheming with that half-smile!

Ginger: I think you should put down the pictures and step away from the vent. Maybe some weird noxious gasses are being filtered in here or something…

Ruby: Ginger, I’m serious! Look at the pictures!

Ginger: Ruby, you’re hallucinating! He’s not a–why is that man dressed like a chicken?

Ruby: That’s one of Fly’s friends. His name is Guy.

Ginger: And that woman? Fly is a friend of Wonder Woman?

Ruby: That’s another of his friends. They all play Quiz Bowl at the local bar on Friday nights.

Ginger: Are they all spies together?

Ruby: No, look, Fly is the only spy.

Ginger: Fly…is…

Ruby: See, in this picture, he’s with the winners of the costume party’s contest.

Ginger: Fly…

Ruby: Personally, I thought the Mona Lisa should have won first prize, but I really can’t begrudge the man behind the Julius Caesar costume. How do you think he got forty puppets to stay glued to his body all night?

Ginger: Fly is dressed up as a Communist spy for Halloween?

Ruby: Yes, what did you think I was talking about?

Ginger: Did he place?

Ruby: Most Creative. Look at the detail on the Mona Lisa, though, she even got the frame right!

Ginger: Fly is dressed up as a Communist spy for Halloween.

Ruby: Are you okay? Do you need to sit down? Oh, yeah, I’m sorry…what were you talking about before?

Ginger: Hmm?

Ruby: Did you say something about aspirin? Do you need one?

Ginger: No…no, I think I need to wait until reality re-settled completely.

Ruby: Why do you…you didn’t think I was serious about Fly being in espionage, did you?

Ginger: Well…you made some excellent points…no one would expect him…and…

Ruby: Ginger, honestly, I don’t know where you get your ideas sometimes. It’s Fly!

Ginger: Well…he does seem to collect a lot of information…

Ruby: He’s a doctor. He has to be informed.

Ginger: And he does seem unobtrusive…

Ruby: So? It’s not always great to stand in the spotlight.

Ginger: And he does speak more than one language…

Ruby: Well, you would, too, if your parents were fromThailand.

Ginger: And he can pick a lock in under thirty seconds…

Ruby: You can, too!

Ginger: Not in the dark.

Ruby: When have you been with Fly, in the dark, picking locks?

Ginger: I was just assuming he could pick a lock. You confirmed it.

Ruby: Fly is an American citizen. He’s a doctor and he’s…talented…with…a lock pick… All this does not add up to “Communist spy!”

Ginger: Says the person who won’t admit Marilyn Monroe and James Dean were actually spies killed in the line of duty and badly covered up by the government!

Ruby: Ginger, for the last time, Zoolander was not Hollywood’s attempt to throw you off the case by coming out with the truth.

Ginger: Partial truth! PARTIAL truth!

Ruby: I think I need that aspirin now…

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