Ruby: Ginger?! Ginger?!
Elle: Shh! Listen! Do you hear that?
Ruby: It must be worse than we thought! She’s not only humming, she’s SINGING!
Elle: Hurry, I think it’s coming from the back!
Ruby: Ginger, honey, just keep singing, it’ll be okay!
Ginger: What are you two – what’s with the fire extinguisher?
Ruby: We’re here for you, no matter what, okay?
Elle: We won’t judge, we’re just here to put out any possible…um…
Ruby: Flames. Of passion. Or whatever you’re calling it now.
Ginger: Right now, I’d call it confusion. What’s with you two?
Elle: Ruby, look…she’s…she’s…
Ruby: Look away, Elle, I’ve seen this before. I think it’s called a smile…it’s a very bad sign. Don’t make eye contact!
Elle: I’m trying not to, but it’s drawing me in!
Ginger: What is with you two?!
Ruby: It’s safe now, she’s scowling again.
Ginger: Okay, for the last time: What Is With You Two?
Elle: I heard you…well…humming this morning when you left for work.
Ruby: So, naturally, she called me. It’s very unusual behavior for you. You must realize that.
Ginger: I can hum if and when I feel like it!
Ruby: I remembered the last time you hummed…
Elle: And got defensive about it…
Ruby: And that was when you were seeing Ben again.
Ginger: I told you that’s over.
Elle: That’s what you said the last time, too.
Ruby: So, we deduced what we could…and…well, now you can see to which conclusion we jumped.
Ginger: You think I’m back with Ben? So you brought a fire extinguisher and burn ointment…
Elle: It never hurts to be prepared.
Ruby: Although, with you, it might.
Ginger: How does that work?
Ruby: We’re prepared, so we might hurt you. To save you.
Ginger: You always hurt the one you love?
Elle: See? She’s already under his spell again!
Ruby: Ginger, listen to me: Fire Equals Bad…for relationships.
Elle: Yeah, Fire Equals Good almost anywhere else.
Ruby: In the proper doses.
Elle: And when controlled.
Ginger: Thanks. Now that I have that descriptive, and somewhat creepy, piece of information, I’ll be sure to file it appropriately.
Elle: She’s still sarcastic…that’s good, right?
Ruby: It’s a good sign. But the singing…that’s not.
Ginger: Is my voice that bad?
Elle: (stage-whispers to Ruby) We reaffirm her, right?
Ginger: Oh, for the love of… I’m not back with Ben. I met someone, we talked a little, we emailed a little and I gave him my number. I’m singing because…well…the song is stuck in my head.
Ruby: Where did you meet him?
Ginger: On the train.
Ruby: Wait. You spoke to someone? All on your own? On the train?
Ginger: Well. Yes?
Elle: I’m confused. You know how to talk to random people on the train? By yourself?
Ginger: He was reading Terry Pratchett.
Ginger: It’s Terry. Pratchett.
Elle: That’s all it takes?
Ginger: Well, he does have these really nice eyes…
Elle: So, the two of you have been emailing?
Ginger: Only a little. Not a lot. Just once or twice.
Ruby: Okay…so…will we get to meet him?
Ginger: I don’t know.
Elle: Why not?
Ginger: Well, he reads Terry Pratchett, sure, but he doesn’t read graphic novels and he has never seen a Guy Ritchie film. I don’t know how long this will last.
Elle: You have the strangest rules for guys you date.
Ruby: Did you ever hear about the guy she wouldn’t date because he liked hockey – but not the Redwings?
Elle: Yes, but in his defense, once he learned she was a White Sox fan, he was more than willing to call it quits.
Ginger: So, um, now that we got all this sorted out…can you put down the fire extinguisher?
Elle: In a minute…is he a pyromaniac?
Ginger: Um…not that I know of.
Ruby: Elle, I suggest keeping that nearby. Just in case.
Ginger: You people are so weird.
Ruby: Says the pot to the kettle.
Ginger: Kettles are weird?
Elle: Pots are weird?
Ruby: Why do I try?