She Dates. …sometimes.

Ruby: Ginger?! Ginger?!

Elle: Shh! Listen! Do you hear that?

Ruby: It must be worse than we thought! She’s not only humming, she’s SINGING!

Elle: Hurry, I think it’s coming from the back!

Ruby: Ginger, honey, just keep singing, it’ll be okay!

Ginger: What are you two – what’s with the fire extinguisher?

Ruby: We’re here for you, no matter what, okay?

Elle: We won’t judge, we’re just here to put out any possible…um…

Ruby: Flames. Of passion. Or whatever you’re calling it now.

Ginger: Right now, I’d call it confusion. What’s with you two?

Elle: Ruby, look…she’s…she’s…

Ruby: Look away, Elle, I’ve seen this before. I think it’s called a smile…it’s a very bad sign. Don’t make eye contact!

Elle: I’m trying not to, but it’s drawing me in!

Ginger: What is with you two?!

Ruby: It’s safe now, she’s scowling again.

Ginger: Okay, for the last time: What Is With You Two?

Elle: I heard you…well…humming this morning when you left for work.

Ruby: So, naturally, she called me. It’s very unusual behavior for you. You must realize that.

Ginger: I can hum if and when I feel like it!

Ruby: I remembered the last time you hummed…

Elle: And got defensive about it…

Ruby: And that was when you were seeing Ben again.

Ginger: I told you that’s over.

Elle: That’s what you said the last time, too.

Ruby: So, we deduced what we could…and…well, now you can see to which conclusion we jumped.

Ginger: You think I’m back with Ben? So you brought a fire extinguisher and burn ointment…

Elle: It never hurts to be prepared.

Ruby: Although, with you, it might.

Ginger: How does that work?

Ruby: We’re prepared, so we might hurt you. To save you.

Ginger: You always hurt the one you love?

Elle: See? She’s already under his spell again!

Ruby: Ginger, listen to me: Fire Equals Bad…for relationships.

Elle: Yeah, Fire Equals Good almost anywhere else.

Ruby: In the proper doses.

Elle: And when controlled.

Ginger: Thanks. Now that I have that descriptive, and somewhat creepy, piece of information, I’ll be sure to file it appropriately.

Elle: She’s still sarcastic…that’s good, right?

Ruby: It’s a good sign. But the singing…that’s not.

Ginger: Is my voice that bad?

Elle: (stage-whispers to Ruby) We reaffirm her, right?

Ginger: Oh, for the love of… I’m not back with Ben. I met someone, we talked a little, we emailed a little and I gave him my number. I’m singing because…well…the song is stuck in my head.

Ruby: Where did you meet him?

Ginger: On the train.

Ruby: Wait. You spoke to someone? All on your own? On the train?

Ginger: Well. Yes?

Elle: I’m confused. You know how to talk to random people on the train? By yourself?

Ginger: He was reading Terry Pratchett.

Ruby: Okay…

Ginger: It’s Terry. Pratchett.

Elle: That’s all it takes?

Ginger: Well, he does have these really nice eyes…

Elle: So, the two of you have been emailing?

Ginger: Only a little. Not a lot. Just once or twice.

Ruby: Okay…so…will we get to meet him?

Ginger: I don’t know.

Elle: Why not?

Ginger: Well, he reads Terry Pratchett, sure, but he doesn’t read graphic novels and he has never seen a Guy Ritchie film. I don’t know how long this will last.

Elle: You have the strangest rules for guys you date.

Ruby: Did you ever hear about the guy she wouldn’t date because he liked hockey – but not the Redwings?

Elle: Yes, but in his defense, once he learned she was a White Sox fan, he was more than willing to call it quits.

Ginger: So, um, now that we got all this sorted out…can you put down the fire extinguisher?

Elle: In a minute…is he a pyromaniac?

Ginger: Um…not that I know of.

Ruby: Elle, I suggest keeping that nearby. Just in case.

Ginger: You people are so weird.

Ruby: Says the pot to the kettle.

Ginger: Kettles are weird?

Elle: Pots are weird?

Ruby: Why do I try?


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