When Sugar Attacks – Just Like Mars Did!!

Ginger: Hey, Ruby, guess what! When a kid is born in Russia, they get their father’s name as a middle name. And you know what that means? That means that when I met Grigoriy Antonovych, his name isn’t actually Greg Anthony, it was his father’s first name. That’s why Ninel laughed at me when I told her his name! What if his father was in the KGB and they had to sneak into the country and drop their last names so that they could hide! What if Greg is really in the international witness protection program? Do you know what this means?

Ruby: You put extra sugar on your Sugar-Pops this morning?

Ginger: …what does that have to do with anything?

Ruby: Ginger, adding sugar to a previously sugar-coated candy they pass off as a breakfast cereal is not a good idea. One day you’re going to go into diabetic shock and then what will we have to do?

Ginger: Speed the rest of the world up?

Ruby: If I moaned piteously here, would you understand?

Ginger: My mother might.

Ruby: Yeah.

Ginger: Um…hmm…

Ruby: What?

Ginger: Did you…did you get your hair cut?

Ruby: No.

Ginger: Oh. Anyway, Ninel is teaching me Russian in return for keeping her secret about getting married the other day. Already, I’ve learned to say “I will conquer your puny planet” and some random Communist slogans she learned from her grade school and now, I think I should find out if Greg’s surgery was really a “simple procedure” or if it was a KGB cover-up for some strange lobotomy or brain implant. Of course, I’d need to find Greg in order to ask him…

Ruby: How can you find him if he’s in the international witness protection program?

Ginger: Good point. Are you wearing different make-up?

Ruby: No.

Ginger: Huh. Anyway, after I readNight Soldiers, I knew I had to meet someone who was involved in the KGB, although the book kept calling it the NKVD, but that’s beside the point. I mean, if that character could make it to America, who’s to say he’s the only one?

Ruby: You mean, aside from the fact that it was historicalfiction?

Ginger: Please. It wouldn’t be the first time the term “fiction” was applied loosely. Ever see the movie Mars Attacks?

Ruby: Ginger, for the last time, that movie was FICTION. Science-fiction, in fact. Martians never came to earth and vaporized Congress. A woman’s head was never grafted onto the body of a Chihuahua. FICTION.

Ginger: Yes, let’s believe what The Man tells us.

Ruby: Is ‘The Man’ also known as Tim Burton?

Ginger: New earrings?

Ruby: Nope.

Ginger: What, then?

Ruby: New glasses.

Ginger: You wear glasses?

Ruby: How did you not know that?

Ginger: Does Fly know?

Ruby: YES!

Ginger: Oh. Wanna know your name in Russian?

Ruby: If I said no, would it really make a difference?

Ginger: Ruby in Russian is Rubin.

Ruby: Oh.

Ginger: Yeah. Ginger is Imbiry.

Ruby: What’s Ninel’s name in English?

Ginger: Ninel’s name doesn’t change. It’s actually Lenin backwards. It was a popular name when she was born.

Ruby: Serious?

Ginger: As I can be.

Ruby: Fair enough.

Ginger: You really wear glasses?

Ruby: Apparently.

Ginger: Fly really knows?

Ruby: I’m taking away your sugar supply.

Ginger: Fair enough.

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