Yippee Ki Yay, Edward Scissorhands.

Ruby: Hello?

Ginger: Hey, I’m almost to your place. Do you want me to come up or do you just want to head out to dinner right away?

Ruby: Hang on – Fly, Ginger’s almost here. Do you her to come up or do you just want to meet her in the lobby?

Fly: Um…hang on…

Ginger: What are you doing?

Ruby: Edward Scissorhands is on TV. We…sorta got sucked into it. Accidentally.

Ginger: How far are you?

Fly: Wait, what are my options?

Ruby: Meet Ginger in the lobby for food or have her come all the way up here.

Ginger: How far into the movie are you?

Ruby: I dunno – Fly, how much is left in the movie?

Fly: How would I know? I’ve never seen this all the way through.

Ruby: Really?

Ginger: We can let him finish the movie.

Ruby: But…now I’m really hungry.

Ginger: Do you just want to spoil the ending for him so we can go?

Ruby: Sure. Fly – they all live happily ever after. Can we get food now?

Ginger: WHAT?!

Ruby: You said to spoil it.

Ginger: That’s. Not. The. Ending.

Fly: What did you say? I’m sorry, I was focused on the movie…

Ruby: It’s not?

Ginger: Ruby, what would make you think that – wait, you know Old Yeller dies at the end of his movie, right?

Ruby: Edward doesn’t get rabies, Ginger! …does he?

Fly: This guy gets bitten by one of the dogs he grooms?

Ginger: Did no one ever tell you that Titanic sinks at the end?

Ruby: Wait, are you saying he drowns, or that Kim pushes him off a boat?

Fly: This movie is taking some weird twists – I’m not surprised I never watched it all the way through now.

Ginger: Ruby…Bruce Willis is a ghost.

Fly: When do they get on a boat?

Ruby: Bruce Willis isn’t in this movie. …Fly, is Bruce Willis in this movie?

Fly: How would I know? Edward is so far going to contract rabies on a boat!

Ruby: He’s not in the opening credits…

Fly: Wait, seriously? You didn’t see him listed?

Ruby: Okay, you’re not helping. And Ginger is in the lobby.

Fly: It’s a commercial break. And tell Ginger to just come up now.

Ginger: Ruby – I’m just trying to explain to you that this movie does not end like Beetlejuice. But it’s still a good movie.

Ruby: Just come up.

Fly: I thought you were hungry…

Ruby: I was. But then I found out that Bruce Willis’s ghost gives Edward Scissorhands rabies and they both sink to the bottom of the North Atlantic on a huge unsinkable luxury liner.

Ginger: Wow…I am glad I didn’t spoil the whole ending.

Ruby: Really? What did you leave out?

Ginger: The sled named Rosebud. It dresses up like its mother and stabs people who shower.

Ruby: Yeah, we should really leave that as a surprise for Fly.

Fly: Now, I want to know!

Ginger: See you soon!

Ruby: Okay, bye…

Fly: Tell me what happens! What’s in the box?!

Ruby: Soylent Green.

Fly: …wait, so how does this movie end?

Ruby: I have less of an idea now than I did when we first started watching.

Fly: And I’m hungry.

Ruby: But we have to stay to watch the ending.

Fly: True. The one time we want Ginger to spoil the ending and she won’t.

Ruby: …seriously, is Bruce Willis in this movie or not??


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