Avaunt! To Ye Olde Theatre, Robin!

Ruby: Ginger, what are you doing?

Ginger: What does it look like I’m doing? I’m taking notes.

Ruby: Stop.

Ginger: Stop what?

Ruby: Stop taking notes.

Ginger: Why? Anywhere else, you’d be proud of me for taking notes when someone is lecturing.

Ruby: She’s not lecturing to us, Ginger. She’s performing. It’s a play.

Ginger: Not with her “acting.”

Elle: Will you two, please, hush? People are beginning to get annoyed.

Ruby: Most of all the actress on stage.

Ginger: Honestly, I wasn’t doing anything wrong, Ruby started it!

Elle: I don’t care who started it, I’m ending it!

Ruby: Who made her Mom?

Ginger: You better watch it, you’ll get grounded. You know what that means…

Ruby: No phonecalls, no TV and no dessert.

Elle: Do I need to separate you two?

Ginger: Does she really need to ask that?

Ruby: Does she really think separating us will get people to stop staring?

Ginger: You’d think she would be used to people staring when we go out in public.

Ruby: Especially when you decide to take notes in a play.

Ginger: No one would notice if you wouldn’t say anything.

Elle: Ginger, you’re using a light-up pen! Now, stop it, both of you!

Ginger: Well, I can’t takes notes in the dark, now, can I?

Ruby: Ginger, you’re not supposed to take notes to begin with!

Ginger: Says who?

Ruby: Says me! You know the play by heart and we’re not impressed that you’re annoyed by the portrayal of your favorite character and, judging by the look on the actress’s face right now, she’s not impressed either. So put the pen away and behave!

Ginger: Mom, Ruby’s trying to take your place.

Elle: I swear, if your fathers were here…

Ginger: How long till intermission? I have to go potty!

Ruby: (to Elle) You know you’re only encouraging her, right?

Elle: I’m pretending I don’t know you.

Ginger: Too late, you referenced our fathers, you’re stuck with us.

Ruby: Now I have to pee, too! Way to go, Ginger.

Ginger: Try thinking dry thoughts…

Ruby: Wow…that’s a dress.

Elle: There’s a frill at the top.

Ginger: Where?

Elle: The necklace doesn’t help.

Ginger: With all that threatening to pop out of the thin line of ruffle, you’re looking at the necklace?

Elle: It is rather eye-catching.

Ruby: She looks like she just stepped off a romance novel cover…

Ginger: Where’s the scantily-clad gentleman?

Ruby: And the wind-swept castle lit by a single bolt of lightning?

Elle: If you’re bored, you can always leave the theatre.

Ginger: I thought she was pretending she doesn’t know us.

Ruby: I thought so, too. Besides, who said we were bored?

Ginger: I don’t know. I thought we were having fun.

Ruby: I was…until you pulled out the pen and started taking notes.

Ginger: I can’t help it. It’s a compulsive disorder of mine.

Elle: You are a compulsive disorder.

Ruby: Again, I thought she didn’t know us anymore…now what are you doing?

Ginger: Well you don’t want me to take notes…so I’m making origami.

Ruby: Can I have a piece of paper?

Ginger: Yes, but you can’t make a piggy. I’m making a piggy.

Ruby: Why are you making a piggy?

Ginger: Because I don’t know how to make anything else.

Ruby: Ah.

Elle: Please stop talking…just watch the show…

Ginger: Hey, Rubes! Lookit! There are PEOPLE up there on the STAGE! It’s a SHOW!

Ruby: Wow! It’s like TV, only they can hear us!

Ginger: Maybe we can influence their decisions…

Ruby: That would be interesting…

Ginger: Don’t give him the handkerchief! He’ll use it to drive the other guy insane! Hide it in your pocket! Hide it! He’s coming!

Ruby: That…might have…worked… But this is “A Christmas Carol.”

Ginger: I was practicing for the next time we attend Shakespeare.

Elle: There will be no “next time.”

Ruby: Oh, but she’s really much better behaved at a Shakespeare. Trust me, Woman Who Does Not Know Us.

Ginger: Yeah, really. Shakespeare is good. Dickens is obnoxious.

Elle: Then why did you get the tickets??

Ginger: I thought you might want to see it.

Ruby: There’s really no reasoning with her.

Elle: Rats.

Ginger: What?

Elle: Now I have to pee.

Ruby: That joke was a while back.

Elle: Yeah, but I’m a slow listener when I’m pretending I don’t know you.

Ginger: Wait till you catch up to the origami one… Oh, Ruby?

Ruby: What?

Ginger: Meet the Ghost of Christmas Pork.

Ruby: Meet the Elephant of Kirigami.

Ginger: I think you made up that word.

Ruby: I did not! Technically, this elephant is made using origami, but kirigami is real, too.

Ginger: I’m choosing not to believe you. The Ghost of Christmas Pork chooses to do so, as well.

Ruby: I’m going to pretend I don’t know you now.

Elle: It doesn’t help.

Ruby: I’m being optimistic.

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