It’s A Compulsion…

Ruby: You watch weird movies.

Ginger: What?

Ruby: You do. Were you aware that Death – the character Death – dresses up like Santa in this? Did you know that before we watched it?

Ginger: If you had taped it, I would have just taken it home and watched it by myself.

Ruby: No one has VCR’s anymore, Ginger. That’s why it’s on my DVR. And you didn’t answer my question.

Ginger: Technically, it’s not Santa. It’s the Hogfather. And it was a book before it was a movie.

Ruby: Then you read weird books. And I’m pretty sure it was Santa.

Ginger: No, really, it was the Hogfather. Which is why the title is…well…yeah.

Ruby: Nevertheless, you watch weird movies.

Ginger: And read weird books.

Ruby: That, too.

Ginger: So. Ready for the other movie?

Ruby: This was 3 hours long.

Ginger: So?

Ruby: We don’t get a break between movies?

Ginger: This isn’t a break?

Ruby: Right. Of course. What was I thinking?

Ginger: I honestly have no idea.

Ruby: What is this one about again?

Ginger: Oh, I just love this movie. It’s all about love and the power of love and the different shades of love…

Ruby: So, I phrased the question incorrectly?

Ginger: Pretty much.

Ruby: What’s the plot of this movie?

Ginger: Abused pregnant wife has affair with her gynecologist.

Ruby: I repeat: weird movies.

Ginger: I’d respond, but you would only use it against me in upcoming conversations.

Ruby: So, let’s hear it.

Ginger: Hear what?

Ruby: Well, you always have some important and significant piece of trivia related to every movie that you forget to tell me about until mid-plot-relevant scenes and then you spout it in harried whispers followed by a promise that you’ll stop talking until the end of the movie that you inevitably break with the next piece of trivia pops up in your memory.

Ginger: Oh. Um. The writer-director of this movie is also in the movie as one of the supporting roles and her daughter is in it, but she died before the movie was accepted to Sundance – or something – and her murderer was sentenced just before the movie came out in theatres.

Ruby: She was murdered?

Ginger: Yeah. Let’s put it in!

Ruby: Wait, so that’s it? That’s all the trivia you have for this?

Ginger: Yeah. I could go into details about the murder, but you cringe in detailed episode recaps of Bones.

Ruby: You only give detailed episode recaps.

Ginger: Thank you.

Ruby: But that’s all that you have for this movie? No actor connections?

Ginger: Um…Jeremy Sisto plays the abusive husband in this and he was in Maroon 5’s music video for Wake Up Call?

Ruby: Anything else?

Ginger: You already knew Nathan Fillion is in this, what more do you want?

Ruby: And you call yourself a trivia queen.

Ginger: It was hard getting anything related to this when all I could find were the words “Swan Song”…

Ruby: Whatever.

Ginger: I could go on about any of the actors’ other roles…honest, I could! Cheryl Hines and Jeremy Sisto are both on Suburgatory now! Jeremy Sisto’s character is named Earl and the Dixie Chicks’ song Goodbye Earl is about an abusive husband named Earl…and…um…

Ruby: How do you retain all this?

Ginger: I have a lot of brain space ever since I forgot simple math and rules of gravity.

Ruby: Rules of gravity?

Ginger: Well…I keep thinking that if I just forget them, they won’t apply to me and I won’t fall as much. Is that wrong?

Ruby: Let me know how that goes for you. If it works, then you weren’t wrong.

Ginger: I mean, it’s not like I’ll try flying right away…I think it’ll take a solid decade of forgetting about them before I try that…

Ruby: Mm.

Ginger: And it’s not like I can go outtesting the theory…that brings up remembering that I’m forgetting and…well, let’s just say that’s a cycle of thought that contradicts its own existence and–

Ruby: Ginger?

Ginger: Yes?

Ruby: No more focusing for now. Let’s just watch the movie, now that it just started.

Ginger: Okay. I think you’ll like it. There’s several moments where I think that Andy Griffith steals the scene…

Ruby: Oh yeah?

Ginger: Yup. Pretty much every scene he’s in…

Ruby: That’s nice, Ginge. Now stop ruining the movie.

Ginger: Okay. Oh, also? The way that Nathan’s character becomes the gynecologist in this film is almost identical to how his character is revealed to be a gynecologist in Desperate Housewives.

Ruby: I don’t believe this…

Ginger: Oh yeah, and the “Deep-Fried Twinkie” Ex from Castle is also in this movie – she plays Nathan Fillion’s character’s wife! It’s, like, full circle!

Ruby: I’m sensing that…

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