Ginger: Hey, look, I can see my breath!
Ruby: Yes, and fascinating as that is, we’re still here to look at other things.
Elle: Ooh! Look at that one!
Ruby: Pretty. Tall. I think it’s too tall for your apartment.
Elle: Ginger, can we fit it into the apartment?
Ginger: Look! I made a snow angel!
Ruby: Yeah, that’s why you brought me.
Elle: I know. But I had that little spark of hope that…
Ruby: It’s okay. We’ll pummel her with snowballs soon.
Ginger: Oooh! How about that one?
Ruby: Ginger, that’s the display tree.
Ginger: I know…
Elle: I think she likes it cause it’s already decorated.
Ruby: Okay, Ginger, one last time: we’re here to get a Christmas tree for your apartment. Once that is accomplished, we can all go make snow angels and build snow forts and snowmen and whatnot.
Elle: And then we can drink cocoa while we warm up.
Ruby: Cocoa? Can we, um, spike the cocoa?
Elle: I thought that was a given…how else does cocoa warm us up?
Ruby: Just making sure.
Ginger: Well, if you would dress appropriately, you wouldn’t need to be warmed up as much.
Ruby: What do you mean? I’m wearing a warm coat with faux-fur trimming, my earmuffs…I’m even wearing tights!
Ginger: Your tights have holes.
Ruby: They’re fishnets, Ginger. They still keep me warm.
Elle: It’s not like you’re dressed to visit the Himalayas, there, Ginger.
Ginger: Whaddya mean? I’ve got my poufy coat, scarf, mittens and I’m wearing tights withOUT holes in them.
Ruby: Fish. Nets.
Elle: Coat? That’s a vest and you’re wearing a long-sleeved shirt underneath it!
Ginger: It’s not a ‘shirt;’ it’s micro-fiber and it keeps me roasty-toasty. Besides, it matches my tights.
Elle: Could we, what’s the word…Focus?
Ruby: Elle, what do you call that…um…
Ruby: Thank you, trenchcoat, that you are wearing?
Elle: It’s just that. A trenchcoat. With llama wool lining.
Ruby: It’s lavender.
Elle: I like lavender.
Ginger: The llama wool lining is lavender, too.
Elle: Whatever, the point is that we’re all dressed according to our cold-weather needs. Now can we please get a Christmas tree for the apartment?
Ruby: Right; Christmas tree. Your apartment.
Ginger: Is that a llama wool hat, too?
Ruby: Ginger, we’re moving on.
Ginger: My back is wet.
Elle: That’s what happens when you make snow angels.
Ginger: Aw, man, now my butt’s wet, too!
Ruby: That’s what happens when you mock the fishnets.
Elle: What about this tree?
Ginger: Anyone else feel the need to start singing “Christmastime Is Here?”
E: What’s wrong with this tree?
Ruby: Nothing. All it needs is a little love.
Ginger: And Linus’s “magic” security blanket wrapped around the base.
Elle: All right, Grinch, you find a tree!
Ruby: What about that tree?
Ginger: Which one?
Elle: Be specific.
Ginger: I think I see it, does it have pine needles?
Elle: And is it right next to that other green one with pine needles?
Ruby: …I’ll show you.
Elle: That might work better.
Ruby: See? It doesn’t have pine needles. It has blue spruce needles.
Ginger: We should get the blue spruce. They’re lighter.
Elle: Come again?
Ruby: Watch it, Ginger, or I’ll find you a Joe, Jr. of your very own.
Elle: So, we’re agreed? Blue spruce?
Ginger: Blue Sp – wait, is that the price tag?
Ruby: Um, yeah…
Ruby: I think they put the decimal point in the wrong place…
Ginger: It’s not going to last three months and they expect us to pay that?
Elle: You know, I think my parents have a fake tree in their basement somewhere.
Ginger: Let’s go that route. And if that fails, I think I have a pine broom we can decorate.
Ruby: Well, at least you’re inventive.
Ruby: That, too.
Ginger: Is it time to go, yet?
Elle: Snow angel time!
Ruby: Come on, Ginger!
Ginger: My butt’s still wet…
Ruby: Hey, I’ve got an idea! Let’s have a snowball fight…right here!
Ginger: I claim the display tree as my territory! It shall be known as FortGrinch!
Ruby: I claim the Blue Spruce as mine! It’s now FortEbenezer Scrooge!
Elle: I claim the Love-Deprived Twig! You may call it FortSnoopy!
Ginger: Okay, on the count of three, we run to our bases and begin construction…aside from clobbering each other, the last one thrown out of the tree lot wins!
Elle: Um, what do we win?
Ruby: Winner doesn’t have to pay for cocoa for the rest of the day!
Elle & Ginger: Deal!
(Ginger runs off)
Elle: So, we’re agreed? Pact against FortGrinch?
Ruby: Oh, she should have seen that coming…
Ruby & Elle: Three!