Career Options

Ginger: Bring a torch, Jeannette Isabella!

Ruby: No, no, honey, we stopped that game.

Ginger: Oh. Well, I wish you would tell me these things in advance.

Ruby: Um…right. I’ll, um, try to keep that in mind…next…time.

Ginger: You should.

Ruby: So, what brings you over this bright and sunshiny day?

Ginger: The train.

Ruby: sigh. I suppose I should have known that was coming.

Ginger: Well, yes, it does run every 4 to 7 minutes.

Ruby: Amusing. Really. What is the purpose of this visit?

Ginger: I think I want to become a Customer Service phone-answering peon.

Ruby: …I’m sorry, you almost had me there. You’re getting really good at keeping a straight face.

Ginger: I’m serious.

Ruby: Ginger, you’d…you would…look, don’t take this the wrong way, but you would not only hate it, but you’d suck at it, too.

Ginger: No, I had to call the Customer Service desk about a package twice and both times, I got nice people and they were helpful and they made me feel better. I think I could really do some good in the world if I signed up with them. They all seem like nice people.

Ruby: They can’t afford to fly around the world.

Ginger: I’ll learn to live a more simple life.

Ruby: Not everyone who calls in is like you.

Ginger: I can screen calls.

Ruby: No, no you…you really can’t. Not in that job.

Ginger: I can be nice, then.

Ruby: …are…you…

Ginger: I can try to be nice, then.

Ruby: …looking for…right…words…

Ginger: I can try to try to be nice…

Ruby: Ginger, sweetie, I’m glad you found nice Customer Service people, I really am, but…you know how you can get when things aren’t going your way and you realize you have to call your least favorite delivery service?

Ginger: What are you trying to say?

Ruby: More people call in with an attitude and are less agreeable than you are than…well…than not.

Ginger: But Customer Service people are people, too!

Ruby: Ginger, I’m your friend, right?

Ginger: Yes.

Ruby: And you know I only want you to be happy, right?

Ginger: Yes…

Ruby: Okay, then…keeping that in mind, listen to what I’m going to say.

Ginger: Listening…

Ruby: You can’t hang up on people who are having bad days and just want their Customer Service representative to take all the anger they throw at the representative.

Ginger: Why not?

Ruby: Because, honey, that’s not Customer Service.

Ginger: That’s just stupid. I’ll re-invent Customer Service.

Ruby: Customer Service cannot be re-invented like that. It’s not Service for the Customer that way.

Ginger: Well, Customers shouldn’t be stupid.

Ruby: See, already, you’re losing your soft edge.

Ginger: (sweetly) I can still be soft and think that’s stupid.

Ruby: Yes, but now I’m scared of you. And…the Customer is always right. Not terrified.

Ginger: If you didn’t want to be terrified, you shouldn’t have started this.

Ruby: And it’s things like this that make you less of a Customer Service Representative and more of a Customer.

Ginger: Who came up with that stupid saying anyway? “The customer is always right.” They’re not always right; no one is always right.

Ruby: Well, how often would you like to hear that you’re not right?

Ginger: Those idiots at the Delivery Faction of Lazy Morons told me that a few times.

Ruby: And, did it help you be nicer to them?

Ginger: No, because I was right!

Ruby: Yeah. See…this…this is why I think you should perhaps re-think a career move like this.

Ginger: So, you’re saying I should just stick with my present career?

Ruby: Yeah, that’s…that’s pretty much what I’m saying.

Ginger: So that I can make Customer Service Representatives’ days better?

Ruby: Yes. Or, if you don’t want to take my word for it…maybe…ask Elle.

Ginger: I already did. She laughed at me.

Ruby: Oh.

Ginger: She got what was coming to her, though.

Ruby: Oh? What…um…what was that, exactly?

Ginger: I made her watch The Wraith immediately followed by Terminator 2: Judgment Day with me. I started the movies at ten. I made her watch them with me.

Ruby: …the poor girl…

Ginger: Yeah. Oh, hey, what are you doing at ten-thirty tonight?

Ruby: I think…um…I’m…on a plane…or…something…

Ginger: Oh, but I have a movie for us to enjoy together! You’ll love it!

Ruby: You know, that sounds fun, but…I think…I have to…re-arrange my…sock…drawer…

Ginger: You know you want to watch Hot Dog: The Movie with me.

Ruby: I just remembered!

Ginger: What?

Ruby: You don’t live here. Go home. Now. And I will not let you in here again if you are carrying a movie with you. At all. Ever.

Ginger: Don’t think this is over. I’ll get you, my pretty…

Ruby: Good-bye!

Ginger: Fine…

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