Fireflued

Ruby: (answering the phone) I knew you’d be calling me.

Ginger: What?

Ruby: I knew you’d be calling me. It’s that time of the day.

Ginger: Oh. Can you answer one question for me?

Ruby: Now, or are you keeping me in suspense for future questioning?

Ginger: Um. Now.

Ruby: Sure.

Ginger: Am I–wait, if I’d asked for the ‘keep you in suspense for future questioning,’ thing, would you have still said yes?

Ruby: The world may never know.

Ginger: I’ll have to live with that, I guess.

Ruby: What’s your question?

Ginger: Am I dead?

Ruby: Well, in order to answer your question, I’m going to have to pose several questions and base my answer on yours. Ready?

Ginger: Go.

Ruby: Are you in a box buried approximately six feet below the average ground level?

Ginger: Not that I know of.

Ruby: Do you see either pearly gates or a lake of fire?

Ginger: Not…not really…

Ruby: Do you crave brains?

Ginger: Um…not particularly.

Ruby: Are you groaning and dragging one foot behind you in your search for brains – preferably human brains, by the way?

Ginger: I’m not dragging my feet…I could groan if that will speed this along.

Ruby: I’m trying to rule out zombie for you.

Ginger: Oh. That. No, I don’t believe I’ve reached zombie-status.

Ruby: Okay. Then, in that case, I would have to conclude that no, Ginger, you are not dead.

Ginger: Okay.

Ruby: Why?

Ginger: Because everyone in my office has the flu and they’re all refusing to go home and I can only assume that they’re refusing because I’m dead and they have to carry my dead weight.

Ruby: Ah. Well, that would be a compelling argument…in your mind…

Ginger: And if I were dead, I could go home and watch more Firefly.

Ruby: Haven’t you been dreaming of Nathan Fillion enough this week?

Ginger: It’s not my fault I saw two episodes last night!

Ruby: Isn’t it?

Ginger: Well…no. Not completely. I didn’t put in the disc, or push the buttons, or…well, okay, I hit play once, but that was only because everyone else was busy making dinner. I didn’t suggest watching it, though!

Ruby:  I see.

Ginger: And one can never dream of Nathan Fillion “enough” this week.

Ruby: What was I thinking?

Ginger: I don’t know, but don’t let it happen again.

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