Ruby: (answering the phone) I knew you’d be calling me.
Ruby: I knew you’d be calling me. It’s that time of the day.
Ginger: Oh. Can you answer one question for me?
Ruby: Now, or are you keeping me in suspense for future questioning?
Ginger: Um. Now.
Ginger: Am I–wait, if I’d asked for the ‘keep you in suspense for future questioning,’ thing, would you have still said yes?
Ruby: The world may never know.
Ginger: I’ll have to live with that, I guess.
Ruby: What’s your question?
Ginger: Am I dead?
Ruby: Well, in order to answer your question, I’m going to have to pose several questions and base my answer on yours. Ready?
Ruby: Are you in a box buried approximately six feet below the average ground level?
Ginger: Not that I know of.
Ruby: Do you see either pearly gates or a lake of fire?
Ginger: Not…not really…
Ruby: Do you crave brains?
Ginger: Um…not particularly.
Ruby: Are you groaning and dragging one foot behind you in your search for brains – preferably human brains, by the way?
Ginger: I’m not dragging my feet…I could groan if that will speed this along.
Ruby: I’m trying to rule out zombie for you.
Ginger: Oh. That. No, I don’t believe I’ve reached zombie-status.
Ruby: Okay. Then, in that case, I would have to conclude that no, Ginger, you are not dead.
Ginger: Because everyone in my office has the flu and they’re all refusing to go home and I can only assume that they’re refusing because I’m dead and they have to carry my dead weight.
Ruby: Ah. Well, that would be a compelling argument…in your mind…
Ginger: And if I were dead, I could go home and watch more Firefly.
Ruby: Haven’t you been dreaming of Nathan Fillion enough this week?
Ginger: It’s not my fault I saw two episodes last night!
Ruby: Isn’t it?
Ginger: Well…no. Not completely. I didn’t put in the disc, or push the buttons, or…well, okay, I hit play once, but that was only because everyone else was busy making dinner. I didn’t suggest watching it, though!
Ruby: I see.
Ginger: And one can never dream of Nathan Fillion “enough” this week.
Ruby: What was I thinking?
Ginger: I don’t know, but don’t let it happen again.