Ruby: Hi Ginger, I need to let you know–
Ginger: No time for small talk! Elle needs you to tell me something!
Ruby: Okay, Ginger, but first–
Ginger: I watched Buried.
Ruby: Ginger, I — wait, you watched what?
Ginger: You know how I’m a sucker for anything Ryan Reynolds is in and I’ll watch it unless it’s Amityville Horror because that is just WAY too creepy for me?
Ruby: Isn’t Buried that movie about a guy buried alive?
Ruby: …WHY WOULD YOU WATCH THAT?!
Ginger: Why does everyone keep asking me that?!
Ruby: Does Elle need me to tell you to stop watching those movies again? Cause, you can tell her I’ve tried.
Ginger: No. Elle does not need you to tell me that. I think she knows that it’s a useless waste of time.
Ruby: Clearly. You WATCHED BURIED.
Ginger: I told Elle last night that I watched a movie while she was out last night that probably scarred me for life and she looked at me like I had just told her I watched The Exorcist or something and said “Ginger, we’ve talked about this” and I was all “No – it wasn’t that” and she was all “then what WAS it” and I was all “Buried – but it was SO GOOD but I might be traumatized for life” and she was all “Buried – that movie about a guy buried alive? WHY WOULD YOU WATCH THAT” and I was all “WHY does everyone keep asking me that?” and then she was all “Drain the pasta before it overcooks” and I was all “I know how to cook pasta, but seriously, the movie was SO GOOD but traumatizing but SO GOOD” and –
Ruby: Ginger. You’re on speakerphone. Please get to the point before Kate buries ME alive.
Ginger: Kate? Who’s Kate?
Kate: Hi…I’m Kate. I work with Ruby.
Ginger: Ruby works from home on Fridays.
Kate: Yes, but I’m in town today and we were going over some things and figured a face-to-face meeting would be beneficial.
Ginger: …you’re in Ruby’s house?
Ruby: Ginger – what is the point of this phone call?
Ginger: You never let ME come over when you’re working!
Ruby: She’s WORKING WITH me. You WORK AGAINST me.
Ginger: I think that’s a case of semantics.
Ruby: Ginger…point. Please. Get to it.
Ginger: Fine. Anyway, did you watch the two-part episode of Castle yet?
Ruby: Not yet.
Kate: Oh, you watch Castle? I do, too! I saw it…
Ruby: No spoilers, please!
Ginger: Kate – were you surprised when —
Ginger: When…Castle was killed by the radioactive gorilla in the first act?
Ruby: She’s trying to not spoil it, but also talk about it, but also not give me anything to look forward to seeing, but also encourage me to watch it very soon.
Kate: Oh…yeah…then, Yes, I was surprised. But…he wasn’t glowing too much…
Ginger: I know and I was disappointed by that, but I was REALLY surprised that they’re getting Alexis to step up into the role of THE Castle of the show. Nathan must’ve REALLY done something bad to get dropped from the show that fast.
Ruby: Well, admittedly, Alexis HAS provided the key piece to solving several puzzles on the show already. Also, Kate is laughing, so responses from her might be hard to understand.
Ginger: Why would she be laughing? Killing off Rick by a radioactive gorilla is no laughing matter.
Ginger: I just hope it doesn’t turn into a sort of Alias type show, where Alexis is this college student who has a secret double life as a law enforcement consultant and wears wigs and talks in weird accents and gets bizarre clues suggesting her dad’s not really dead after all and Beckett holds the key to it all but isn’t sharing because she got too close once before and now she’s burned and…
Ruby: Kate can’t breathe. Please pause long enough for her to stop laughing. She’s not used to you…
Ginger: Fine. I was taking the show in a really weird place.
Ruby: Yeah. But it’s a place you visit frequently, so it’s no wonder you keep finding yourself there.
Ginger: I know. I mean, after watching Buried and getting really wrapped up in that and then seeing Esposito get shot – I MEAN!!!!
Ruby: You are so lying. I can tell. Know how I can tell?
Ginger: Kate’s falling out of her chair laughing at the non-spoiler I delivered?
Ginger: Well, by now you know I totally lied about the radioactive gorilla, too.
Ginger: I apologize for leading you astray.
Ruby: As you should.
Ruby: What was it Elle needed me to tell you because it clearly didn’t stick when she told you?
Ginger: Oh, that. She wants you to tell me that cooking pasta is NOT my forte and I should stop pretending I can do it.
Ruby: You got more focused on telling her about the movie than actually watching the pasta cook, didn’t you?
Ginger: She was in the kitchen, too. She could have turned off the fire or something.
Ruby: Clearly it was her fault.
Ginger: See? I knew you’d side with me.
Ruby: Are you sure you’re not watching movies you know you shouldn’t watch and burning pasta in some desperate passive-aggressive way to convince Elle to not get the dog and just keep you in the apartment instead?
Ginger: My passive-aggressive attempts are way more clever than that.
Ruby: Did you hear that sound?
Ginger: I did. Kate fell out of her chair, didn’t she?
Ruby: She did. This is why you can’t come over when I’m working. No work gets done.
Ginger: Fine. I’ll call you later.
Ruby: Bye, Ginger…
Kate: …bye!…radioactive gorilla!!!
Ruby: Do you see why I didn’t want to take the call, but I did want to take the call?
Kate: …yes… Quentin was right, though. You have fun friends.
Ruby: Quentin is an enabler.