Tweedle Work

Ruby: Hi, guys, how are things in your part of the world?

Dee Dee: Oh, well, the weather is pretty warm, but I think it’s supposed to rain later this afternoon.

T.D.: It’s supposed to rain later, in the afternoon, but right now it’s warm.

Ruby: Okay. That’s…helpful…

Dee Dee: So, we were hoping you would –

T.D.: Would you mind going over the –

Dee Dee: New features of the –

T.D.: With all the new features, we just –

Dee Dee: Just –

T.D.: No, you go ahead.

Dee Dee: Oh, but you’re better at it.

T.D.: Actually, you’ve got the best way of putting it.

Dee Dee: There are new features.

T.D.: Yes, and the features that are new are really new.

Ruby: Contrariwise.

Dee Dee: …what?

Ruby: Nothing. So, the new features we have available were explained in the email I sent out at the last update.

T.D.: Right and we got that email but –

Dee Dee: But although we received the email there’s one feature –

T.D.: It’s really just the one feature that we feel –

Dee Dee: We feel it hasn’t been –

T.D.: Hasn’t –

Dee Dee: Properly –

Ruby: Which feature, exactly?

T.D.: It has to do with the formatting –

Dee Dee: Formatting, really, is the –

T.D.: The real thing –

Dee Dee: The thing –

T.D.: We need to talk-

Dee Dee: Talk.

Ruby: The time has come.

T.D.: It has?

Dee Dee: What time?

Ruby: To talk of many things.

T.D.: …okay…

Dee Dee: Which things?

Ruby: Of shoes, and ships and sealing wax. Of cabbages and kings.

T.D.: …is this part of the formatting?

Dee Dee: …formatting?

Ruby: And why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings.

T.D.: …okay. Well, it was so kind of you to come!

Dee Dee: And you are very nice.

T.D.: Nice.

Dee Dee: Bye…

Ruby: It seems a shame…

T.D.: Bye…

Ginger: To play them such a trick? After they’ve brought you out so far and made you trot so quick?

Ruby: I weep for you.

Ginger: I deeply sympathize.

Ruby: You know I blame you for this.

Ginger: Look, I had the day off, you work from home on Fridays…what was I supposed to do?

Ruby: How about not come over until after I finish with my conference call and definitely stop showing me Google Image Results of Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee? That would have been nice.

Ginger: But boring. And I wouldn’t have been able to show you the floorplan of my new apartment! And you would have had to listen to them talk over each other and never get to the heart of the matter for another hour!

Ruby: I still don’t know what their issue was!

Ginger: Formatting. So, change the color of the font of the email you already sent them and send it, pretending it’s new.

Ruby: That will never work.

Ginger: Have you tried it yet?

Ruby: ……………..yes. It worked on Lois, Carol, Alison, Juan and Durand.

Ginger: Do you ever listen to your descriptions of your job?

Ruby: Do you?

Ginger: Touché.


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