Preventative Measures Need To Be Taken Sometimes

Ginger: Ruby?

Ruby: We’re in here, Ginger.

Ginger: “We”?

Ruby: Hi Ginger, come in. Sit down.

Ginger: Hi, Ruby…and Fly…and Elle…what’s going on?

Elle: Ginger, we’re all here because we care about you.

Fly: Or we were led to believe there would be a meal and then got suckered into doing this.

Ruby: Because we all love you.

Ginger: Okay…that’s nice…?

Ruby: This isn’t an intervention, Ginger.

Elle: It’s a prevention.

Fly: Which is a word, but is not what they keep hoping it could be.

Ginger: Why are we preemptively intervening in my life?

Ruby: Your mother called me.

Elle: I called your mother and then she called Ruby.

Fly: Actually, you called your mother, Elle overheard the conversation and called your mother after you hung up and then your mother called Ruby who then called Elle and me and promised food.

Ginger: I am kind of hungry…do preventions get meals or snacky foods?

Fly: I asked the same question! See? It’s not just me!

Ruby: You’ll both get food once everything is cleared up.

Elle: Ginger – were you watching Breaking Bad?

Ginger: Is this the true-or-false portion of the evening or the multiple choice?

Ruby: I don’t think this is how this is supposed to go…

Fly: No one has preventions, Ruby. No one knows how this is supposed to go.

Elle: Ginger, True or False – you watched Breaking Bad last night.

Ginger: True! Do I get a cookie now?

Ruby: Okay, sure, I’ll go get some cookies…

Fly: If I answer questions do I get cookies?

Ruby: No.

Elle: Ginger, True or False – you took notes while watching Breaking Bad last night.

Ginger: True! That’s two cookies for me – I’m so winning this game! Fly, you need to catch up…

Ruby: Here, two animal crackers. Now, the next question. Elle?

Elle: Ginger, True or False – you asked your mother how your old chemistry teacher in high school is doing after watching Breaking Bad last night.

Ginger: True! Hand over my prize-cookie, Rubes!

Ruby: Ginger, we have watched you get very involved in TV shows in the past…

Elle: Firefly, when you started to try to learn Chinese and took up ballet and bought math calendars and wrote fan fiction…

Fly: Chuck, when you insisted you could “flash” on objects and spent a lot of time wandering around BestBuy stores and looked into buying a Caddy…

Ruby: Supernatural, when you began taking notice of every flashing light, every cold breeze and seem incapable of not giggling whenever the name “Dana” comes up…

Ginger: Hee, hee….danashulps danashulps danashulps… Sorry. Continue.

Elle: Leverage, when you started telling people what role they would have on your crew…

Fly: White Collar, when you decided it was high time you “got back into painting again” and bought a lot of wine…

Ruby: Eureka, when you started reading theoretical physics and got those crayons that write on glass and began plotting out wormhole appearances…

Elle: Shakespeare plays leave you speaking in iambic pentameter, pirate movies leave you speaking like pirates and Justified left you with a slow Kentucky accent for more than a week.

Ruby: Watching Bones leaves you analyzing dinosaur bones in museums, watching House leads you to insist you have lupus and watching Criminal Minds leaves you with far too much knowledge on serial killers.

Fly: You watched Grimm then asked me if I had ever known of any coma patients who came out of their coma with a kiss.

Ginger: Wow, you guys pay a lot of attention to my habits and hobbies. Do you think you might need the intervention?

Fly: At this point, I’m starting to agree with you.

Ginger: Here, Fly, you can have a true-answer-cookie.

Fly: Thanks!

Ruby: Look, the point is…we don’t want to see what happens when you start watching Breaking Bad.

Ginger: OH! That’s what this is about? Wow! I hadn’t thought about that…

Elle: What? You were taking notes!

Ginger: Yeah, cause I couldn’t remember what some of the chemical symbols were – Br is…what, Berilium?

Ruby: Bromine, Ginger.

Ginger: Right, well, I couldn’t remember last night, so I wrote it down to look it up later and then I ended up calling Mom because I realized she’d know, and then we got to talking and she brought up Mr. Wesson, so I asked how he’s doing. He recently had surgery.

Fly: Oh, what kind?

Ginger: I don’t remember, I think it has to do with his heart or his liver…or a toe?

Fly: Yeah, you need to watch more House.

Elle: So, wait, if it was all innocent coincidence, why did your mom agree this preventive intervention should happen?

Ruby: Yeah, she called me and said “Don’t let my daughter buy any chemistry books while she’s watching Breaking Bad.”

Ginger: I may have asked if Mr. Wesson had the medical insurance to cover his surgery. And then brought up how much money the show claimed meth labs can rake in.

Elle: She saw the signs, too, then.

Ginger: Well, yeah. She’s my mother – she’s known me way longer than anyone here has. She was there when I watched The A-Team and tried to recruit the neighborhood kids for my first crew. She was there when I watched The Man From U.N.C.L.E. reruns and began wearing my brother’s sportcoat. She was there when I watched Ghostbusters cartoons and decided I wanted to be Janine when I grew up and she was there when I watched TimeTrax and insisted my history teacher was really a criminal from the future who had fled to the past, which was our present.

Fly: Wow…you’re really…

Ruby: A special person.

Ginger: My mommy tells me that all the time.


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