Gram-Mer

Ginger: Do you want to know what really frosts my cookies?

Ruby: People entering your home without knocking?

Ginger: Sorry. D’you want me to go back out, knock, and try again?

Ruby: Nah. You’re already in. Go ahead and tell me all about the icing on your cake.

Ginger: Cookies.

Ruby: Are you sure you don’t want to talk about Cake?

Ginger: Well…no…but…I need to…that concert was so much fun…

Ruby: Wow, you are really distractible today.

Ginger: And I like that song, y’know, with the skirt and the jacket and – oh! Do you want to know what really makes my skin crawl?

Ruby: A red space slug out to get Bill Pardy?

Ginger: What? No! I like that movie and – Hey! I’m trying to focus here.

Ruby: You’re not doing a very successful job there.

Ginger: I know, it’s just cause I keep dreaming about creatures trying to make friends with other creatures so they can start a tribe and – Ruby!

Ruby: I’d apologize, but this is kinda fun.

Ginger: For three days straight, people at the office have been using grammar incorrectly in emails and I know they know better by now!

Ruby: Three days? Ginger, it’s only Tuesday.

Ginger: It is? Okay, fine. For two days straight, people at the office have been using grammar incorrectly in emails and I know they know better by now!

Ruby: Oh, no, wait, maybe it is Wednesday…

Ginger: See?

Ruby: Nope. I was right the first time. It’s Tuesday.

Ginger: Whatever, I just–you’re screwing with my head again.

Ruby: It’s really easy today.

Ginger: But not fair…

Ruby: When are you fair?

Ginger: When I feel like it. Oh, that reminds me: do I have permission to seriously injure or maim the cable technician today – if he bothers showing at all?

Ruby: Um…no.

Ginger: Rats. You’re the fourth person to tell me no.

Ruby: Fourth? Really?

Ginger: Mae…Quinlan…you…okay, third.

Ruby: You do realize what you’re doing, right?

Ginger: Um…no. Is it bad?

Ruby: You come in here – to a math-lover’s home – counting incorrectly, and expect me to feel sympathy for you and your complaints about improper use of grammar.

Ginger: So you’re saying I’m gonna get no love here?

Ruby: With counting skills like yours, you’re lucky I’m not telling you that “your out of luck.”

Ginger: Oh! No, please!

Ruby: Or “the door is over their.”

Ginger: I’ll use my fingers to count, I promise!

Ruby: Or even “Your going to miss you’re appointment.”

Ginger: I’ll be good! Honest!

Ruby: To late. I’m in now. Four gooder oar fore worser.

Ginger: Ack! I’m leaving! And I hope you realize I’m going to take this out on the technician!

Ruby: It may not be the same technician who didn’t show.

Ginger: Doesn’t matter!

Ruby: Don’t take it out on him. Just learn to count.

Ginger: Fine. Well, I’ve got three go. Twice upon a time, I would have argued with you, but I haven’t the time. I have three get home befive the technician arrives and leaves again.

Ruby: Are you seriously using Victor Borge’s Language Inflation on me?

Ginger: Perhaps. Do you feel properly chastised?

Ruby: Of course. But befive you go, are you sure the technician is coming on Threesday, that is, threeday – or Wednesday, that is, threemorrow?

Ginger: Threeday. Befive I was mis-calculnineing.

Ruby: It would figure you excel at Language Inflation.

Ginger: Threedles!

Ruby: Threedles three you, three.

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