Ginger: Ruby, are you home?
Ruby: Yes, I’m here…what is that?
Ginger: You emailed at work and said you wanted me to pick up dinner.
Ruby: No. No, I didn’t.
Ginger: Yes, you did. I remember the email – you said that you were really busy working and you didn’t have time to pick up dinner and you wanted me to come over so we could see that movie.
Ruby: …those were three different emails.
Ginger: Yes, and if you subtract the words that came in between those emails, that’s what you really meant.
Ruby: Those were pieces of three different emails from the whole day.
Ginger: I bought you lard nar.
Ginger: Oh. In that case, I bought you that dish with peapods and chicken and water chestnuts and…clear gravy stuff?
Ruby: Ginger, I emailed you this morning and said I had a lot of work to do today and that I wouldn’t be able to be your crutch today.
Ginger: …there were words after “work today” in your email?
Ruby: Then you emailed with a story about what you watched on TV last night, and what you’d name a clown fish if you ever could keep a pet alive and then babbled about why hazelnut coffee smells better than it tastes.
Ginger: Did you memorize my email?
Ruby: I wrote back that I didn’t really have time today to discuss every thought that popped into your head and you wrote back asking if you should have Thai food or burgers for lunch. I ignored the email until lunch when I finally read it and explained I hadn’t had Thai in a while and I was thinking about getting that for dinner when Fly is in town next.
Ginger: …do you have a pen and paper?
Ruby: Then you wrote back asking if I had watched the DVD you lent me last week yet and I said no and then ignored your emails for the rest of the afternoon. And now you’re here. With Thai food.
Ginger: Okay, here’s what happened:
I have a lot of work to do today, so I won’t be able to [email you as much. Sorry!
That’s interesting. Pagliacci might work, since you’d forget to] feed [him and he’d cry. Just like the opera character he’s named after. Seriously, I’m really busy today and] I don’t have time to do this.
Ooh, Thai sounds good. [Maybe I should get that when Fly comes into town at the end of the month. What do you think?]
I haven’t watched the movie yet. [I have to get back to work. We’ll chat later.] Come over with Thai food tonight!
Ginger: That’s what I read.
Ruby: …did you memorize my emails?
Ginger: You didn’t write that much.
Ruby: Is that how you read my emails on a regular basis?
Ginger: Clearly, I know what you wrote. I just choose to read portions of it. It’s Word Math.
Ginger: Yes. I subtract the parts that don’t need to actually be there and then I add what I feel was the real meaning.
Ruby: How often do you do this?
Ginger: …how often do you wonder where I got the meaning I did from the words you said?
Ginger: Great! So, we can eat then?
Ruby: What did you add there?
Ginger: “Wow. That’s amazing and creative and someday people will write entire books based on your Word Math Theory. There could be Word Math Theory classes in college. It’s fantastic!”
Ruby: Don’t add words to my statements anymore.
Ginger: You should try it. Here – “Ruby, I never want to read Twilight.”
Ruby: …all I have to do is subtract a word or two?
Ginger: In Advanced Word Math, you can remove the entire sentence and replace it with all your own words, but I don’t think you’re at that level yet. Start small.
Ruby: I’ll get you a copy for your birthday. Just like you asked. Just now.
Ginger: Can we eat now?
Ginger: Great – I’ll start the movie!!
Ruby: That’s not what I said… Ginger?
Ruby: From now on, just warn me when you play Word Math.
Ginger: Like…a note card I can hold up?
Ruby: Sure. Like a note card.
Ruby: You made this at lunch, didn’t you?
Ginger: Yeah. Sometimes, Word Math is prophetic.
Ruby: Or, just pathetic.
Ginger: That’s a possibility. Have some food. I’ll start the movie.