And Away To His Tallship We’ll Go…

Ruby: …what are you singing?

Ginger: That song from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

Ruby: No, you’re not.

Ginger: Yes, I am.

Ruby: Those are not the words.

Ginger: Pretty sure they are.

Ruby: I swear to you. I promise you – those are not the lyrics.

Ginger: Yes, they are.

Ruby: On what planet does Snow White sing about the day when her PIRATE will come?

Ginger: On the planet where I am Snow White. In this scenario. Specifically.

Ruby: …what?

Ginger: Look, I’ve read the signs.

Ruby: What signs?

Ginger: I’ve done the math.

Ruby: The only math you do is that made-up Ginger’s Word Math. That you made up!

Ginger: I’m not going to find a prince.

Ruby: Don’t say that.

Ginger: Okay, fine. I won’t find a prince who will want to take me away to his castle and get married and make babies and live happily ever after.

Ruby: Ginger…

Ginger: But a pirate? I think a pirate is someone who could sweep me off my feet and not mind when I knock him off his feet in return.

Ruby: You think about metaphors way too much.

Ginger: Who said this was a metaphor?

Ruby: Can I just forbid you from marrying a pirate on the grounds that I refuse to be party to the whole plan?

Ginger: Why would you refuse to be party to my imaginary future husband? He’s a very nice pirate – as pirates go, that is.

Ruby: I will not be arrested for aiding and abetting your fugitive of a pirate husband. Sorry. Fly will not enjoy visiting me in prison.

Ginger: But…part of my plan was for you and Fly to join us on the pirate ship. We’d need a doctor – pirates are constantly getting splinters from their wooden legs and accidentally cutting themselves with their own hooks. Fly could patch them up.

Ruby: Meanwhile, I’m doing what?

Ginger: Pirating web signals?

Ruby: Ginger…I’m not pirate material. If you want to keep in touch with me, you’re going to have to not marry the pirate you have imagined for your future husband.

Ginger: But I just finished re-writing the lyrics!

Ruby: Find a different imaginary future husband, or we will have to just say good-bye here.

Ginger: Fine. I’ll imagine a different future husband.

Ruby: Thank you. I would have hated saying good-bye here.

Ginger: Especially before I helped you get out of that wedding gown, huh?

Ruby: Yes. Miss? Could I try on the next one now?

Wedding Gown Sales Girl: Is she always like this?

Ruby: No. Sometimes, she’s much more distracted.

Ginger: What about Some day Mal Reynolds will come/Some day we’ll meet again/And away to his Firefly we’ll go/To be happy forever I know…?

Ruby: Dress change first, then we’ll investigate the flaws there.

Ginger: What flaws?

Ruby: Doesn’t that plan involve waiting 500 years for Mal – and Firefly class starships – to even exist? And you still don’t know how the second verse goes, so you’ll just be making it up as you go anyway…

Ginger: Oh, those flaws… Oh, hey, can I try that one on? The one with the feathers?

Ruby: This is why my sister offered to go wedding gown shopping with me. I don’t know why I didn’t listen…

Ginger: Ruby! It has feathers AND sequins!

Wedding Gown Sales Girl: I recommend bringing your sister for the follow-up visits.

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