Ginger: The universe is against me, Ruby!
Ruby: Already? Just yesterday you were telling me how it was wrapped around your little finger.
Ginger: Well it must have overheard me and got ruffled feathers over the comment.
Ruby: The universe has feathers?
Ginger: Ruffled feathers.
Ruby: So, is the universe a big bird, then?
Ginger: Could we please focus on me?
Ruby: Sure. Cause. You know…we never do that.
Ginger: I’m sorry. Ruby, how are you? How is your day going?
Ruby: Meh. Can’t complain too much. I mean, the rain is making drivers absolutely stupid on the road, my workload seems to be increasing by the minute, I barely get to see Fly when he’s awake and when he IS awake, all we get to discuss is wedding plans – not how he’s doing or how I’m doing – before you call to interrupt with statements like “the universe is against me, Ruby.”
Ginger: Okay, okay. I get it. My life isn’t as bad as I make it out to be.
Ruby: Thank you for admitting that.
Ginger: For you, Rubes, anything.
Ruby: …now you want to get back to complaining, don’t you?
Ginger: If you don’t mind. I mean, I could probably wait for a sunny day…
Ruby: No, I’ve had a quick vent. Please, take the stage. The universe-bird’s feathers were ruffled and now it’s out to peck you to acquiescence. Please, spare no detail.
Ginger: Um. I don’t want to anymore.
Ruby: Why not?
Ginger: No…no reason. Really.
Ruby: You could always just file this under “Another Example of the Universe Being Out to Get Ginger Blaze.”
Ginger: Yes. But I won’t. Unless you want me to.
Ruby: Just tell me, Ginger. How is the universe out to get you today?
Ginger: I can’t audition to be an extra for a science fiction movie they’re filming near my parents’ house because the casting call specifically requested people with facial piercings and the only piercings I have are the two holes per ear.
Ruby: How does this mean the universe is out to get you?
Ginger: It means I will not get to be in a science fiction movie, so I won’t get discovered and somehow suddenly move up to a role with a speaking part and the movie won’t become a cult hit that allows me to live off appearance payments and so I won’t be able to quit the office lackey job yet and I won’t get to meet Nathan Fillion and bond over science fiction roles that follow us – lovingly, of course – for the rest of our lives and I won’t get to buy the vintage 1970 Dodge Challenger that I saw in the online auction!
Ruby: The universe isn’t out to get you.
Ginger: It isn’t?
Ruby: No. Online car auctions are. But not the universe.
Ginger: Oh. …um. Okay then.
Ruby: Glad I could help.
Ginger: You did. And as a thank you, I’m going to help you.
Ruby: Should I be scared?
Ginger: I’m going to cook dinner for you and Fly so that you two can have a nice romantic dinner without worries. And I’ll clean up, too.
Ruby: You’re going to cook?
Ruby: Can I just show you the take out menus instead and promise to invite you over to watch a movie with us instead?
Ginger: If you don’t want food poisoning, it’s the most recommended course of action.