Twoo Wuv

Ruby: Are you calling because you’re bored or because your phone is so used to calling me at this hour that it dialed me automatically?

Ginger: Ruby, I’ve fallen in love.

Ruby: Already?

Ginger: Yes. It’s true love and it’s…the most wonderful happy accident.

Ruby: Where did you meet?

Ginger: The corner quick stop shop.

Ruby: Didn’t you try picking someone up in a grocery store before?

Ginger: What are you talking about?

Ruby: That guy…in a grocery store? You went on one date, doubling with Fly and me? It was a polite dinner of cliché questions and flat monosyllabic answers?

Ginger: I’m…I’m not in love with a PERSON, Ruby.

Ruby: Then what are you talking about?

Ginger: I’m in love with an ice cream.

Ruby: …an ice cream? Why am I surprised?

Ginger: I don’t know. It’s kinda slow for you.

Ruby: Tell me about it.

Ginger: Well, usually, you’re a lot quicker on the uptake and you know that—

Ruby: Ginger! Tell me about…the ice cream…

Ginger: Oh! Ben & Jerry’s Turtle Soup.

Ruby: Turtle Soup?

Ginger: Oh, yes. Turtle Soup. I stopped in the shop just to get some milk and I saw the ice cream. Couldn’t resist. Had to get it. I thought I picked up Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, but I must have grabbed the wrong one, because I got Turtle Soup. Chocolate covered cashews, caramel drizzle in vanilla ice cream.

Ruby: Ooh…now I want it.

Ginger: Go get some. There’s a store just on the corner.

Ruby: But I took off my shoes.

Ginger: Put them on again.

Ruby: But I’m tired and I want to just relax on the couch.

Ginger: Then don’t put them on. Go get the Turtle Soup.

Ruby: Maybe I’ll wait till Fly gets here…

Ginger: Go get it. Go…get it! Go on! Go get it! Get the ice cream!

Ruby: Ginger…I’m not a dog.

Ginger: Get yourself some ice cream…you know you want it…

Ruby: I’ve stopped Fly from picking up ice cream all week. How am I supposed to go out, buy some ice cream and tell him, ‘Oh, well, Ginger said to.’

Ginger: That sounds like a solid plan to me…

Ruby: You don’t think that maybe standing solidly on an issue against my fiancé’s suggestion but crumbling at my friend’s suggestion isn’t a little…um…let’s go with damaging to my upcoming marriage?

Ginger: You haven’t had this ice cream yet. It’s worth the momentary damage.

Ruby: I’m hanging up.

Ginger: So you can go get the ice cream, right?

Ruby: Good-bye, Ginger.

Ginger: Get the ice cream. Get it! Get it! Love it. Eat it. Propose to it. Eat it. The Turtle Beckons!

Ruby: Ginger…stop focusing.

Ginger: Turrrrrr-tle…turrrrrrrr-tle…turrrrrrrrr-tle soup!

Ruby: Bye…

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