Literary Licensing

(a strange tap-tapping upon the chamber door)

Ruby: Who is it?

Ginger: Tis some visitor. Only this and nothing more.

Ruby: Nothing more?

Ginger: Okay, tis some visitor with something more.

Ruby: Something more?

Ginger: Nevermore.

Ruby: What?

Ginger: Nevermore will I read Poe on my way here. Have some coffee.

Ruby: That’s the something more, right?

Ginger: What else would it be? Take your coffee please. I think it’s leaking.

Ruby: Thanks – I’ll pour it into a mug. So, how was your trip to the Big Apple?

Ginger: I didn’t meet anyone famous.

Ruby: Were you supposed to?

Ginger: Well, last time I was there, I walked right past Jason Schwartzman and didn’t know until it was too late. He was gone by then.

Ruby: So just because it happened once, it was supposed to happen again?

Ginger: Well, I didn’t care if it was Jason Schwartzman again or someone else. It didn’t happen.

Ruby: Did you leave the hotel room?

Ginger: Not really.

Ruby: Did you go out for lunch or dinner?

Ginger: Not much.

Ruby: And you were there for business, not tourism, right?

Ginger: Yeah.

Ruby: So…how were you supposed to meet famous people if you did nothing but sit behind a computer all day and then go back to the hotel at night?

Ginger: Are you suggesting that famous people were not staying in my hotel?

Ruby: Were they?

Ginger: Not that I am aware. I did look very closely at everyone in the hotel lobby, hallways, elevator and restaurant each time I left the hotel room.

Ruby: So…they were supposed to come to you?

Ginger: Doesn’t everyone eventually come to me?

Ruby: Of course. What was I thinking?

Ginger: Honestly, Ruby, I just don’t know about you sometimes.

Ruby: My fiancé says a very similar thing…

Ginger: I’ll bet when he says it, it sounds more like “I love you” or “Darling fiancée of mine, how may I show my affection for you on this day so that you are always reminded of the great value of our love?”

Ruby: That last doesn’t even sound like Fly…

Ginger: I may have been reading romance novels a lot on this trip.

Ruby: Really?

Ginger: There was a lot of waiting time at the airport and the flight felt very long for only two hours.

Ruby: With reading like that, I’ll bet it would. How much did it cost? $1.50?

Ginger: Bargain basement buy – ten cents.

Ruby: Nice.

Ginger: Wanna borrow it?

Ruby: By ‘borrow’ do you mean you’re going to leave it here whether I want it or not and deny you ever laid hands upon it when I try to give it back?

Ginger: Um…is the law on my side if I say ‘yes’?

Ruby: No.

Ginger: Then…I refuse to answer on the grounds that you’re already in possession of the book; it’s sitting on your bookshelf and has been since you took the leaky coffee into the kitchen and I shoved it there at the first opportunity.

Ruby: Which bookshelf?

Ginger: I believe an evil laugh is required here…

Ruby: I’ll find it!

Ginger: Sure you will, Ruby. Sure you will. Mwah. Hah. Ha. I’ll see you next time, Ruby…Toodles!

Ruby: No, come back here! You can’t leave me with bad writing! I’ll feel the need to read it!!! There are four bookshelves within arm’s reach of the front door!!! WHICH SHELF?!


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