Dealer Takes All Day…

Ginger: So, there I was, on the phone with this woman because she called me, right?

Ruby: Two, please.

Ginger: And she says “Oh, but I didn’t call you, I received a call from you, cause I picked up my phone and pressed ‘redial’.” At which point I laughed, thinking she was kidding, right? But she wasn’t. She was serious! She got all offended!

Fly: One, Ginger.

Ginger: I mean, look at the word. Redial. RE-dial. To dial again. She called me, then hung up, then called me back, certain I called her first. Why would I call someone in marketing to begin with?

Elle: I’ll take one, as well.

Ruby: If I haven’t mentioned it, it’s good to see you again, Elle.

Elle: Thanks, Ruby.

Ginger: I mean, yeah, I have ideas and all, but that doesn’t mean I’m just going to call someone in marketing out of the blue.

Max: One card, thanks.

Ginger: One card for Max Power.

Max: That’s still not my name, no matter how many times you say it.

Ginger: And dealer takes five.

Ruby, Fly & Elle: NO!

Ginger: Fine. Dealer takes two.

Ruby: Remember the rules, Ginger? Taking five cards means you fold.

Fly: And folding is bad.

Elle: Well, until the betting gets over your head.

Max: Seriously, why do you play with her if you have to re-explain the rules every hand?

Ginger: Ooh! See? Even Max Power knows the power of re! Re-explain means to explain again! …wait…I should be offended, shouldn’t I?

Elle: No, honey, just hold your cards closer to your chest. Again.

Ruby: I can’t believe you’ve never played poker, Ginge.

Ginger: I’ve never really been able to remember why I want the spades so much.

Fly: Are you talking about the game Spades? Because you don’t want spades in that.

Ginger: Wait, I don’t? No wonder I never won! My sister lied to me as a child.

Ruby: Fly’s messing with you, Ginger. Your sister isn’t.

Ginger: Not now, but then…you didn’t know her then…she lied all the time…

Max: Are we going to bet, or sit around discussing problematic childhoods?

Ginger: Kudos for the attention to the game! He’s much better than the last guy we dragged into this.

Ruby: I’ll start the bidding with 5 M&M’s.

Fly: I’ll see.

Elle: I can play that.

Max: I’ll see and raise you one gummi-bear.

Ginger: That’s not a gummi-bear. It’s a cinnamon bear. Sheesh. I take it back, Rubes, he’s just as useless as the last guy.

Max: Thanks.

Ginger: I’ll see the bet of 5 M’s, one cinnamon bear and I’ll even raise you one N&N.

Max: N&N?

Ruby: Don’t ask. Okay, so six M’s and one bear, huh? All right. I’m in.

Ginger: 5 M’s, 1 N and one bear.

Ruby: Hush, Ginger, the adults are playing.

Fly: I’m in.

Elle: I’ll raise you another four M’s, just to make it even – and that makes it two bears, right? 10 M’s is still one bear?

Ginger: 9 M’s, 1 N and one bear.

Max: Right. So we’re up to two bears. Okay. I’ll raise to 2 bears and 5 M’s.

Ginger: Okay, troops. I know I’m asking a lot of you. But Shepherd Book used t’say if you can’t do somethin’ smart, do somethin’ right.

Ruby: Ginger, you’re in or you’re not. And there are no Reavers in the pot.

Ginger: What?

Fly: The pot, Ginge. There are no Reavers in the pot.

Ginger: The plot?

Elle: Oh for goodness’ sake. Ginger, in or out?

Ginger: I aim to misbehave. I’m in.

Max: Finally.

Ruby: All right, two bears.

Fly: I think I’m gonna fold before Ginger tries to convince the pot to hold until she gets back.

Ruby: A Serenity reference all on your own? I’m so proud!

Ginger: I think I might cry.

Elle: These here? Tears of joy, Fly. Tears of joy. And I’m out as well. My troops are officially scared of Pot-Reavers.

Ginger: Told you they exist.

Max: Look, I thought we were gonna play poker, not Name That Fruit.

Ginger: My goodness! Was that a – did you just make a Jasper Fforde refference?

Ruby: Of all people we pulled from the coffee shop.

Elle: Ginger, did you hijack this man based on what book he was reading?

Max: Wait, all of you have read The Eyre Affair?

Fly: Not all.

Ginger: No wonder you ffolded.

Ruby: Ginger, I will kick you if you start with that double ‘f’ thing again.

Ginger: Can I go back to Firefly?

Max, Elle, Fly & Ruby: Yes.

Ginger: Shiny!

Fly: I believe it still falls to Max to continue the hand here.

Max: Sorry. Let’s see…we’re up to two bears, right?

Ginger: Wait, what are the rules? Can he raise his own bet?

Max: How long have you been playing?

Ginger: This game or poker in general?

Ruby: Ginger, stop separating the M’s from the N’s…you’re distracting people.

Max: In general.

Ginger: My sister taught me from the moment I could hold a doll how to hold cards. When I could talk, she taught me how to call and when I could walk, she taught me how to…wait, where was I going with that?

Ruby: You’re sure your sister is the one who lied all the time in childhood?

Ginger: She would! She would just lie and lie!

Elle: When you would wake her from a sound sleep and pester her with questions, it doesn’t qualify as “lying.”

Fly: Otherwise, Ruby owes me a lot of breakfasts in bed.

Ruby: Wait, when did I promise those?

Fly: Max, I believe it’s time to lay your cards on the table.

Max: I may not be a pro, but I believe this qualifies as two pair – 7’s over 5’s.

Ginger: Oh, man, I’m sunk.

Ruby: I have two pair also. But I’m pretty sure that my Queens beat your 7’s.

Ginger: Man! I had two pair, but there’s no need to show them now. The 7’s beat me already.

Fly: What did you have Ginger?

Ginger: Two red sixes and two black ones. And this crummy Ace of Spades doin’ a whole lotta nothin’ for me.

Elle: Ginger, that’s not…two pair…

Ruby: You just…

Ginger: I didn’t even have two pair? But I thought…rats! I thought I had something for a while.

Fly: You know it doesn’t qualify as a poker face if you don’t know what you have, right?

Ruby: Here you go, Ginge. Live and learn, Max. Even the broken watch is right twice a day.

Ginger: Wait, why am I getting the troops back?

Max: I can’t believe I lost to someone who didn’t even know what she had.

Ginger: What did I have? The ace?

Elle: It’s a bit like losing to a four-year-old, isn’t it?

Max: Yeah…

Ruby: Okay, Max, shuffle and deal. We move on quickly here.

Ginger: That ace rocks! Make sure you give me that again, buddy. I’ll give you an N…

Ruby: You’re precious, honey, precious.

Ginger: Man, I hate playing games I don’t understand…

Fly: Welcome to the other side of conversations with you.

Max: Known her long, have you?

Ruby: Sometimes it feels longer.

Ginger: Okay, now listen up, troops. The enemy’s out there, in the thing called a Pot…

Elle: Here we go again…


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