The Important Questions Cannot Wait!

Ruby: I’m in the middle of something, can this wait?

Ginger: If you’re in the middle of something, why did you answer the phone?

Ruby: I learned my lesson after thirteen voicemails.

Ginger: It could have been more. I held back.

Ruby: Seriously, I’m really in the middle of something here.

Ginger: Is it a fight?

Ruby: No.

Ginger: Are you on the toilet?

Ruby: No.

Ginger: Is it a conversation with another human being?

Ruby: Not…in person.

Ginger: You’re emailing someone while you try to get me to hang up the phone?

Ruby: Actually, yes. Can I call you back once I finish this?

Ginger: No, my phone is acting weird. I’ll wait while you finish.

Ruby: …I don’t have a choice, do I?

Ginger: Not really, no.

Ruby: Fine. I’ll hurry.

Ginger: Take your time.

Ruby: …what are you doing?

Ginger: I didn’t say anything.

Ruby: I know. That concerns me.

Ginger: I told you I’d wait. I’m waiting.

Ruby: You’re scary when you’re waiting. Just tell me what it is.

Ginger: I can wait. Honest.

Ruby: Ginger, just tell me. Why did you call?

Ginger: Do I have to actually take lessons in martial arts in order to be able to fight like Jason Bourne or River Tam?

Ruby: Yes.

Ginger: Really?

Ruby: How else would you develop those abilities?

Ginger: I dunno, maybe if I got bitten by a radioactive Matt Damon?

Ruby: …okay, fine, you have a point. If there was a radioactive Matt Damon wandering around the city and biting people and you happened to be one of them, then, clearly, you would be able to just develop Jason Bourne-like skills. However, you would have to be exposed to a gamma-ray-infused Summer Glau on a moonless night in August while holding three copper nails in your left hand in order to gain River Tam skills.

Ginger: I knew you could multi-task!

Ruby: What’s wrong with your phone?

Ginger: What?

Ruby: You said your phone was acting weird. What’s wrong with it?

Ginger: Oh, mostly it’s the voicemail system.

Ruby: Okay…what’s wrong with the voicemail system?

Ginger: Well, the voice says “If you would like to send a message, press 2,” but when I do, my options don’t make sense.

Ruby: What are the options?

Ginger: None of them offer to send goons, henchmen or hired thugs to a recipient’s house.

Ruby: What kind of message are you trying to send?!

Ginger: Does it matter? That should be an option!

Ruby: Ginger…you’ve now successfully ruined voicemail for me.

Ginger: Ruby?

Ruby: Yes, Ginger?

Ginger: Is there something I haven’t ruined for you yet?

Ruby: If I tell you, you’ll only ruin it.

Ginger: If you don’t tell me, I’ll go out of my way to share more of my thoughts with you.

Ruby: It’s a risk I’m going to have to… It’s a risk I’m already living.

Ginger: Touché, Ruby. Touché.


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