Schrödinger’s Soulmate

Ruby: What are you doing?

Ginger: Playing the worst game of Schrödinger’s Dilemma ever.

Ruby: It’s Schrödinger’s Cat, Ginger. Not Schrödinger’s Dilemma.

Ginger: Toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe.

Ruby: What, exactly, are you doing?

Ginger: Waiting.

Ruby: Waiting for what?

Ginger: An email.

Ruby: Okay…who is sending you an email?

Ginger: Someone in Iowa.

Ruby: Who do you know in Iowa?

Ginger: James Tiberius Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise is from Iowa!

Ruby: You’re waiting for an email from James T. Kirk?

Ginger: Not necessarily. I’m assuming this guy is like Kirk.

Ruby: Because he’s from Iowa?

Ginger: Obviously.

Ruby: Who is he?

Ginger: Supposedly, my soul mate.

Ruby: …your soul mate?

Ginger: Yeah, this woman came into the office today for a meeting and we got to talking. Then, out of nowhere, she asked me if I was married. Or dating. Or interested in either.

Ruby: Random…

Ginger: That’s what I thought! So she started telling me that, based entirely on my personality and conversation skills, she thinks I’m perfect for this guy she knows in Iowa.

Ruby: Iowa.

Ginger: Yup. So I gave her my email and said to give it to him and to leave it up to him.

Ruby: Would you really consider dating Kirk?

Ginger: …Chris Pine or William Shatner?

Ruby: Really? That’s the important distinction?

Ginger: It’s a VERY important distinction!

Ruby: Y’know, I just remembered someone else from Iowa! DONUT.


Ruby: Okay, so…now…why did you call this Schrödinger’s Dilemma?

Ginger: The perfect guy for me probably wouldn’t accept an email address and actually email me because the perfect guy for me would probably think this lady is just crazy. Even, or possibly, especially if he’s actually friends with her.

Ruby: So, you think this makes it Schrödinger?

Ginger: Well, sort of. The soul mate is there, but I’ll never know because he’ll never email. Or, he’ll email and he’s not actually my soul mate. Or, he is my soul mate and she forces him to email me. Or he isn’t my soul mate and he doesn’t email at all.

Ruby: Ginger, Schrödinger said the cat is alive and dead at the same time.

Ginger: The soulmate is emailing and not emailing at the same time.

Ruby: …know who else is in Iowa?

Ginger: Who?

Ruby: Shoeless Joe Jackson.

Ginger: So, if I build the computer, he will send the email?

Ruby: It’s better than boxing up a metaphorical cat with a vial of poison.

Ginger: …how?

Ruby: You’re not worrying if you’re getting an email from William Shatner or Chris Pine anymore.

Ginger: …I…but…okay, show me how to build a computer. And talk slowly – I get lost easily.

Ruby: Truer words were never spoken.

Ginger: What?

Ruby: Nothing.

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