Ruby: Hello, this is Ruby.
Ginger: I’m bored. Entertain me.
Ruby: Why do I get this task?
Ginger: Because my brothers are all busy and my sister has children who demand entertainment and you recently bemoaned the fact that you are, currently, childless.
Ruby: I believe my exact words were “Oh, look, Ginger, it’s a cute baby.”
Ginger: I applied Ginger’s Word Math.
Ruby: You’re supposed to warn me when you do that!
Ginger: Well, I can’t always warn you of future events. I’m not psychic.
Ruby: Well, then, fine. But the future is here.
Ginger: The future?
Ruby: That’s what I said.
Ginger: But I wasn’t prepared for this!
Ruby: Well, tough.
Ginger: Are there Reavers?
Ruby: Not exactly.
Ginger: Flying DeLorians?
Ruby: Only at theme parks.
Ginger: Have we colonized Mars?
Ruby: Yes, I’m calling from there right now.
Ginger: Do firemen set books on fire?
Ruby: What are “books?”
Ginger: Are zombies the newest form of entertainment?
Ruby: They’re not new.
Ginger: Are zombies kept as pets?
Ruby: No, hamsters are all the rage…again.
Ginger: Are zombies the result of some vaccine gone horribly, horribly wrong?
Ruby: No, actually…okay, look…there are no zombies. Well, no more than the usual college campus provides during finals week.
Ginger: Is the world one giant ocean?
Ruby: Is there one giant ocean? Depends on who you ask. Does it cover the entire planet? No.
Ginger: Is the world a giant desert?
Ruby: There are some trees left in the parks.
Ginger: TELL ME!!!!
Ruby: I just said it was here. I didn’t say it was exciting. Or necessarily good.
Ginger: …how disappointing.
Ruby: There, were you entertained? Because I have actual work I’m supposed to be doing right now.
Ginger: Oh, yeah, sure. I’ll stop by later tonight. Want pizza for dinner?
Ruby: You really miss having a roommate, don’t you?
Ginger: Only at dinnertime.