Ruby: Good morning, this is Ruby.
Ginger: It’s 12:35.
Ruby: Oh. Whoops.
Ginger: Ugh. I’m so tired.
Ginger: I stayed up so late last night.
Ginger: I mean, technically, it wasn’t that late, I guess, but it felt like it.
Ginger: And so I went and got myself a third coffee today as part of my lunch.
Ginger: So…then because I found a tiny village of blue aliens growing in my pen drawer, I declared myself ultimate ruler of the blue villagers who subsist on shards of graphite broken off of my pencils.
Ruby: Sounds nice…
Ginger: Ruby, are you listening to me?
Ginger: How many cups of coffee have I had today?
Ruby: More than you should have.
Ginger: Cheater. I know I’m talking a lot, but usually you pay more attention to me. At least, reply with satiric changes in my attention span.
Ginger: What is going on with you?
Ginger: Ruby, what is going on with you? Are you losing your ability to speak?
Ruby: What? No, I just…I didn’t sleep much last night.
Ginger: Oh, did you watch that movie, too? I didn’t finish it – I went to bed. It just kept going on and on…
Ruby: I was reading a novel last night and I…sort of…forgot to stop.
Ginger: You’re still reading it now?
Ruby: No, I’m at work.
Ginger: …then…it’s…really good and you’re just distracted by thinking about it?
Ruby: No, I…stopped reading the book when it ended.
Ginger: When it ended? What does that even mean? It’s a book…you can…oh, no. You did it again, didn’t you?
Ginger: You did. You stayed up until…what, 2 A.M. to read the book?
Ginger: And was it worth it?
Ruby: Um…no. Not really.
Ginger: And you knew it wouldn’t be worth it, didn’t you? It was all so obvious in the first three chapters.
Ginger: And, yes, Ruby. Before you even ask, I am putting the book sticker on the calendar.
Ruby: No, you don’t –
Ginger: Yes. It’s too late. The sticker is on the calendar.
Ruby: No, Ginger…I knew I shouldn’t have told you…
Ginger: Ruby, this is your seventh book sticker on the calendar this year. I’m afraid we’re going to have to have an intervention.
Ruby: Ginger, you’re the only one who cares.
Ginger: No. Many people care. The fact that you don’t shows that you have an addiction.
Ruby: You’re crazy.
Ginger: You’re the one staying up too late to finish really awful books and then dragging yourself into work.
Ruby: …y’know how I know I’m really tired?
Ginger: You’re emailing me while we’re on the phone?
Ruby: What? No I’m…oh…
Ginger: Yeah. You are.
Ruby: …in my defense…there…was a reason…
Ginger: Yes. Your reason – and I’m reading directly from your email here – is that you’re on the phone with someone who is driving you bonkers.
Ruby: I promise I’ll go to bed early tonight if you don’t put the black star sticker on top of the book sticker.
Ginger: Too late. You emailed me while we are on the phone. That’s the third time this year.
Ruby: I’ll buy you your next coffee if you take off the black star sticker.
Ginger: No can do. Once the sticker is on, the sticker stays.
Ruby: Please, Ginger? I’m too tired to argue…
Ginger: Gee, if only this could be viewed as a learning experience.
Ruby: I’m going to find your collection of stickers one day.
Ginger: You keep making those promises, but only on days when you’re too tired to actually make the effort.
Ruby: …I’ll deliver an impressive threat at a later date.
Ginger: Yeah, okay. I’ll wait to hear it.