Ruby: This is Ruby…
Ginger: Where are you? I went to your apartment last night and you weren’t there!
Ruby: I told you, Ginger, I’m in New York this week.
Ginger: When did you tell me this?
Ruby: Remember when you brought a DVD of that weird movie involving explosions and satiric repartee between main characters?
Ginger: …you’re going to have to be more specific.
Ruby: I told you a month ago, two weeks ago and I called you from the airport as I was leaving.
Ginger: That sounds like a lot of…oh, wait, I remember.
Ruby: You remember that I told you?
Ginger: I remember the movie. I insist that The Other Guys didn’t get the recognition it deserved.
Ruby: Yeah. Do you remember that I told you I was going to be in New York while we watched a movie aboutNew York policemen?
Ginger: …did you say it more than once?
Ginger: Then I believe you remember telling me.
Ruby: I’ll take it.
Ginger: Well, I guess I can’t offer to have lunch with you today after all.
Ruby: Sorry, Ginger. We’ll have lunch next week, when I’m back.
Ginger: I mean, I don’t know how I’ll eat all of this Beef-a-Roo by myself, but I guess I’ll have to make do.
Ruby: …how did you get Beef-a-Roo?
Ginger: My brother brought it. He had to drive through Rockford and he knew how much we love their food, so, he brought it.
Ruby: That’s not fair…
Ginger: Yeah. I guess someone in my office will enjoy your sandwich and fries for you.
Ruby: I’m jealous. You can hang up now.
Ginger: Mmm…these fries, Ruby…they’re just…mmm.
Ruby: Are you seriously going to do this?
Ginger: You know by now that I need to be able to repeat to you important plans in order for me to acknowledge that you told me. If you won’t learn any other way, I’m going to have to simply use the Neener-Neener Technique.
Ruby: Do you really even have Beef-a-Roo or are you just making it up?
Ginger: Allow me to text you a photo…
Ruby: Never mind. You’re not bluffing.
Ginger: Mmmmm…delicious, delicious Beef-a-Roo…
Ruby: Well, I guess since you’re employing the Neener-Neener Technique, I should just throw away this useless piece of paper signed by one of your favorite actors.
Ginger: Mmm…wait, what?
Ruby: Well, as I was getting on the elevator, I ran into this man getting off the elevator and I apologized, then realized who he was. And I asked him for an autograph for my friend who is madly in love with him.
Ginger: …you’re bluffing.
Ruby: Allow me to text you a photo…
Ginger: No! Wait! I…um… Ruby, I formally apologize for neener-neener’ing you previously. Your kindness has shown me the error of my ways and I hope to be a better person from this moment on. Your shining example of humanity will be my guiding light – my beacon, if you will – of how to be the best possible person to my fellow human being.
Ruby: Keep going.
Ginger: Just making that promise has lifted a gray fog that I never knew surrounded me. It’s like the light of day had never really reached me before! Colors seem more vibrant! The music pumping through my Grand Moff iPod seems sweeter! I feel…happy…which is…weird…for me…
Ruby: Don’t stop there.
Ginger: Yeah, that’s all you’re getting until I see the autograph.
Ruby: You want me to text it to you now?
Ginger: Bring it home. I’ll need to examine it in person. Plus, it will give me time to prepare the rest of my speech.
Ruby: Or forget that you ever tried to make one.
Ginger: Are you really going to believe it anyway?
Ruby: …good point.