“Pray, write down, Borachio.”

Ruby: Hello, Ginger.

Ginger: It frightens me when you answer the phone like that.

Ruby: Really? It usually brightens my day to do just that.

Ginger: It  frightens me that my fear brings you joy.

Ruby: Did you call to start a looped conversation?

Ginger: No. I called to ask you a favor.

Ruby: …oh, no…

Ginger: It’s not like that.

Ruby: Not like what, exactly?

Ginger: Whatever it is that made you moan piteously like that.

Ruby: Then what do you want to ask me to do?

Ginger: If I buy the large flying air shark, can I keep it at your place?

Ruby: If you buy the what, now?

Ginger: I just think that Borachio would be happier if he had more air to fly in. Your place is more of an open plan, whereas my apartment is less so.

Ruby: Where did you ever find ‘Borachio’?

Ginger: I haven’t bought him yet.

Ruby: I meant the name…

Ginger: OH. He’s a character in Much Ado About Nothing. I think an air shark is lofty enough that he deserves a Shakespearean name.

Ruby: Okay, first? Ugh – lofty air shark? Ugh.

Ginger: Thank you for acknowledging that.

Ruby: Second – no.

Ginger: No, what?

Ruby: No, you cannot buy the air shark and name it Borachio.

Ginger: Why not?

Ruby: Third – no, you cannot buy the air shark and keep it in my apartment.

Ginger: Again, I must ask, WHY NOT?

Ruby: Because I am not going to explain why there is a floating shark dangling in the corner of my ceiling at the dinner where Fly’s parents finally meet my parents.

Ginger: He could hang out in your bedroom…

Ruby: No, Ginger, it could not.

Ginger: Fine, I’ll just keep Borachio at my place.

Ruby: And we’re back to Second – no.

Ginger: This is the no, I cannot buy an air shark and name him Borachio, right?

Ruby: Right.

Ginger: Why not?

Ruby: Because I need you to save your pennies for the wedding requirements being asked of you.

Ginger: You promised I wouldn’t have to be in the wedding party!

Ruby: No, I threatened your life if you tried to be in the wedding party. It’s a day about me and Fly, not about whether or not your shoes are comfortable.

Ginger: I only walked down an aisle barefoot once. No one cared.

Ruby: Ginger, they all cared. The entire congregation stared at you.

Ginger: Not because I was barefoot.

Ruby: True, I’m sure the fact that you were carrying your shoes in your bouquet did attract some initial attention…

Ginger: See?

Ruby: Still. We talked about this and we came to the same conclusion that you would not be in the wedding party.

Ginger: So, why can’t I get Borachio?

Ruby: Honestly?

Ginger: Yes!

Ruby: Because I don’t want to have to explain why your date to the wedding is a large, helium-filled shark balloon.

Ginger: ………….I accept and acknowledge your decision.

Ruby: Thank you.


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