Ruby: Hello, Ginger.
Ginger: It frightens me when you answer the phone like that.
Ruby: Really? It usually brightens my day to do just that.
Ginger: It frightens me that my fear brings you joy.
Ruby: Did you call to start a looped conversation?
Ginger: No. I called to ask you a favor.
Ruby: …oh, no…
Ginger: It’s not like that.
Ruby: Not like what, exactly?
Ginger: Whatever it is that made you moan piteously like that.
Ruby: Then what do you want to ask me to do?
Ginger: If I buy the large flying air shark, can I keep it at your place?
Ruby: If you buy the what, now?
Ginger: I just think that Borachio would be happier if he had more air to fly in. Your place is more of an open plan, whereas my apartment is less so.
Ruby: Where did you ever find ‘Borachio’?
Ginger: I haven’t bought him yet.
Ruby: I meant the name…
Ginger: OH. He’s a character in Much Ado About Nothing. I think an air shark is lofty enough that he deserves a Shakespearean name.
Ruby: Okay, first? Ugh – lofty air shark? Ugh.
Ginger: Thank you for acknowledging that.
Ruby: Second – no.
Ginger: No, what?
Ruby: No, you cannot buy the air shark and name it Borachio.
Ginger: Why not?
Ruby: Third – no, you cannot buy the air shark and keep it in my apartment.
Ginger: Again, I must ask, WHY NOT?
Ruby: Because I am not going to explain why there is a floating shark dangling in the corner of my ceiling at the dinner where Fly’s parents finally meet my parents.
Ginger: He could hang out in your bedroom…
Ruby: No, Ginger, it could not.
Ginger: Fine, I’ll just keep Borachio at my place.
Ruby: And we’re back to Second – no.
Ginger: This is the no, I cannot buy an air shark and name him Borachio, right?
Ginger: Why not?
Ruby: Because I need you to save your pennies for the wedding requirements being asked of you.
Ginger: You promised I wouldn’t have to be in the wedding party!
Ruby: No, I threatened your life if you tried to be in the wedding party. It’s a day about me and Fly, not about whether or not your shoes are comfortable.
Ginger: I only walked down an aisle barefoot once. No one cared.
Ruby: Ginger, they all cared. The entire congregation stared at you.
Ginger: Not because I was barefoot.
Ruby: True, I’m sure the fact that you were carrying your shoes in your bouquet did attract some initial attention…
Ruby: Still. We talked about this and we came to the same conclusion that you would not be in the wedding party.
Ginger: So, why can’t I get Borachio?
Ruby: Because I don’t want to have to explain why your date to the wedding is a large, helium-filled shark balloon.
Ginger: ………….I accept and acknowledge your decision.
Ruby: Thank you.