Redefining “Kitchen Ninja”

Ginger: This is Ginger.

Ruby: Where are my forks?

Ginger: …would it do any good to pretend you got my voicemail instead of me?

Ruby: Where are my forks?

Ginger: Would it do any good to point out you invited me over last night and then ignored me for three hours straight?

Ruby: Where. Are. My. Forks?

Ginger: You invited me over to watch a movie and then you ignored me for three hours straight.

Ruby: I can’t help it if Fly’s grandmother and aunts chose last night to Skype from Thailand to discuss the wedding. And it wasn’t three hours. It was forty five minutes.

Ginger: I can’t do math.

Ruby: But you can reorganize an entire kitchen in forty five minutes, apparently.

Ginger: Well, yeah. Obviously.

Ruby: Also, just on a side note – kudos on doing it completely silently.

Ginger: My ninja skills are improving.


Ginger: Maybe next time, you won’t pause the movie seventeen minutes before the end credits begin.

Ruby: Ginger…you…punishing me doesn’t make this stop. It only encourages the side of me that you rarely see. The side that knows how to hack into your life and lock you out of it. The side that is more than happy to create a Facebook page in your name and seek out, friend and encourage regular email correspondence with all those people you’re purposely avoiding from your high school years. The side that is taking over with every passing minute.

Ginger: Wow. You’re scary when you’re vengeful.

Ruby: Where. Are. My. Forks.

Ginger: In the fork cabinet. Over the oven.

Ruby: Where are my spoons?

Ginger: In the spoon cabinet. Above the refrigerator.

Ruby: Right. Is there a knife cabinet?

Ginger: Don’t be silly. Why would there be a knife cabinet?

Ruby: Where are the knives?

Ginger: The knife closet. Formerly known as your pantry. It’s like you’ve never been in a kitchen before.

Ruby: You’re never going to be in my kitchen again.

Ginger: Fair enough.

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