Riddick Wouldn’t Have Put Up With This…

Bob: This is Bob.

Ginger: Good morning, Bob, this is Ginger and I’m returning your call. According to your voicemail, you were having trouble accessing our company website.

Bob: Oh, hi, yes, I was actually looking for an online application I could fill out.

Ginger: Absolutely. It will actually be easier if you give me your email address now and I can email you the link for the online applications.

Bob: I don’t think so, Lori, I’m going to need a different solution.

Ginger: …sir?

Bob: Did you hear me?

Ginger: I thought you were talking to someone else.

Bob: Why?

Ginger: Because my name is not Lori. It’s Ginger.

Bob: Oh, right. I’m going to need a different solution.

Ginger: When I email you the link, it will have all the applications that are available online in one spot.

Bob: Look, Lori, you seem nice, but I think it’s a problem with your company’s website. Emailing me a link probably won’t work.

Ginger: It’s still Ginger and when I send you the link, I’ll include the phone number for our website’s tech support.

Bob: Why?

Ginger: Because I can’t help with tech support.

Bob: Look, um…I’m sorry, what was your name again?

Ginger: Riddick.

Bob: Look, Riddick, I just…wait, Riddick?

Ginger: Yes, sir?

Bob: That can’t be right…

Ginger: I’m sorry, sir? What can’t be right?

Bob: Your name wasn’t Riddick…

Ginger: Can you recall my name, sir? My real name?

Bob: Um…it’s…

Ginger: Okay, well, here’s a deal for you – if you give me your email address, I will email you the link with the online applications in one, easy to use place and I’ll include the phone number for the website tech support, and – as a bonus – I will include a short synopsis of the movie Riddick, just for you, and at the bottom of the email…because you’re so easy to work with, Bob, I’m going to sign my real name. Just. For. You.

Bob: …it started with a J, didn’t it? Jennifer? Jessica?

Ginger: Come on, Bob. You can give me your email address.

Bob: Jasmine, please, will you leave out the synopsis of Riddick?

Ginger: Not my name, Bob.


Ruby: I cannot believe you did that.

Ginger: Actually, Bob has been converted to a Riddick fan. He promised to go out and buy copies of Pitch Black, Dark Fury, and Chronicles of Riddick and then go see Riddick this weekend in the theatre.

Ruby: That is unprofessional, Ginger.

Ginger: I completely agree. Unapologetically calling me by wrong names repeatedly is extremely unprofessional.

Ruby: That’s not what—

Ginger: I don’t even know where he came up with ‘Lori.’

Ruby: …you were just really happy you finally got someone to call you ‘Riddick.’

Ginger: A little, yeah. It was what gave me the strength to proceed without calling the website tech people ahead of time and telling them to be on the lookout for his call.

Ruby: You need help, you know.

Ginger: Yeah. I need a zebra-hyena-dog for a pet. That thing was so helpful!!

Ruby: I don’t think I can sigh loud enough to break into your delusion.

Ginger: Not today, Ruby. Not today.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s