My Give-A-Darn Broke

Ginger: Well that explains a lot.

Ruby: What?

Ginger: My give-a-darn is broken.

Ruby: Your what?

Ginger: You know that thing that makes you care about other people’s problems or work or whether or not you fed the dog this morning?

Ruby: Um. Sure?

Ginger: Well, mine broke. A few days ago, actually, but I only properly diagnosed it.

Ruby: So, what’s the next step?

Ginger: What do you mean?

Ruby: Aren’t you going to fix it?

Ginger: I’d like to care, but…meh.

Ruby: “Meh?”

Ginger: Yeah, it’s a side effect of the give-a-darn being broken. I don’t give a darn that it broke.

Ruby: Oh, I get it…

Ginger: Figured you might.

Ruby: So how long has this been broken?

Ginger: Since Monday, I guess.

Ruby: What happened on Monday?

Ginger: I was unable to get to my work because I was so busy fixing problems and answering questions for nearly everyone else in my office. And when I looked at my inbox filled with my work…it snapped.

Ruby: But you didn’t snap, right? I don’t remember anything on the news …

Ginger: No, I didn’t snap. My give-a-darn snapped. And then yesterday, I thought it would repair itself – it didn’t – and I decided I’m done being me in the office. It’s someone else’s turn to be the answer queen.

Ruby: Answer Queen? Is that typed on your business card?

Ginger: You know – “Help me, I can’t get the columns in Excel to sort themselves right” and “Email that person with this form” and “Why can’t I find this account in our system” and “Billing needs to know if this payment sorted itself out” and “I can’t find my bottom with both hands.”

Ruby: Weren’t you just telling me about training others to be obnoxious?

Ginger: If other people would just take the initiative, half of the questions thrown at me would be answered on their own. Now, I just don’t care. And with my give-a-darn being broken, someone else has to step up.

Ruby: And if they don’t?

Ginger: I don’t give a darn.

Ruby: I bet I can think of something you give a darn about.

Ginger: Bet you can’t.

Ruby: Fly accidentally took your phone with him to the hospital.

Ginger: He can answer the texts as he sees fit.

Ruby: You left your phone on the coffee table and he picked it up in his hurry to go.

Ginger: When my mother calls, he can answer about your Thanksgiving plans then.

Ruby: Firefly is going to be aired in a marathon on the SyFy Channel Thanksgiving Day.

Ginger: Really?

Ruby: You give a darn?

Ginger: Yes – seriously?

Ruby: I’m sorry. No.

Ginger: You’re very mean.

Ruby: But you give a darn.

Ginger: It’s impossible to not give a darn about Firefly.

Ruby: True. You can buy Mal’s official browncoat for $359.

Ginger: Really?

Ruby: True this time. And before you get to put it in your online cart, you have to answer 10 questions related to Firefly-Serenity to prove you’re a real Browncoat.

Ginger: What’s the website???

Ruby: See? Your give-a-darn is all fixed!

Ginger: WEBSITE, WOMAN!!

Ruby: It’s on the computer already – let go of my shirt!!

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