Sudden Affinity

Ruby: Did you see this latest Tweet?

Ginger: Kick him! Punch him! C’MON, ALREADY!

Ruby: Ooh, my farm is ready to be harvested…

Ginger: Get that out of–Good! Yeah! Yeah!

Ruby: Hmm. I suppose I can water that one now…

Ginger: Get in there! What, are you sleeping? Wake up and DO SOMETHING!

Ruby: What?

Ginger: What?

Ruby: Did anyone score yet?

Ginger: No, and there’s no good fights happening, either. What are you doing?

Ruby: Oh, I got this nifty new app on my iPhone with a farm and–

Ginger: Get it, get it, get it, get it – WHAT WAS THAT?! Ref! HOOKING! HELLO?!

Ruby: And, so, yeah, I can farm and get little iPhone app dollars, but I have to tend the farm at the right times in order to get the most app-dollars.

Ginger: Mmm.

Ruby: What?

Ginger: Are you competing with Fly for the most app-dollars?

Ruby: Yes…why?

Ginger: We’re at a hockey game. I wouldn’t think that – go, go, go, go, go, go, GO! GO! GO! GO! Aw, come ON! Punch him in the face next time!

Ruby: You wouldn’t think that what?

Ginger: What?

Ruby: You were saying that you wouldn’t think that…and then you yelled at the players on the ice.

Ginger: At the SLEEPING players who seem to feel that scoring a goal is too much effort to…I mean, I wouldn’t think that you’d have any reason to pull out your phone and start playing with the apps on it when there’s a game going on.

Ruby: The game only started three minutes ago.

Ginger: Yeah? So?

Ruby: I had no idea you were so very into hockey.

Ginger: I’m not, really, that into hock–SHOOT IT! SHOOT IT! SHOOT IT!! 23, what are you doing to me?! SHOOT THE PUCK!

Ruby: You’re not, huh?

Ginger: It’s really the fights that draw me to the sport. You just pick up some of the talk when you attend more — PASS IT TO 7! PASS IT TO 7! HE’S OPEN, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! GOOD – NO, NOW, WHAT WAS THAT?! NO WONDER HE DIDN’T WANT TO PASS IT TO YOU!!

Ruby: But you’re not that into it.

Ginger: I also might like the opportunity to yell at really big guys from behind safety glass. And in the company of thousands of other people also yelling at really big guys.

Ruby: Actually, that makes sense, too.

Ginger: You should try it. It kinda makes you feel better.

Ruby: Better about what?

Ginger: Little things. It just feeds into the whole screaming into a pillow, only with the satisfaction of hearing the scream.

Ruby: What should I yell about?

Ginger: Well, to start, number 7 seems to be incapable of doing anything with any puck given to hiM ON A SILVER PLATTER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DID YOU SWITCH SIDES, MAN?! WHY NOT GIFTWRAP THE PUCK NEXT TIME?!

Ruby: Yeah, I think you just have aggression issues.

Ginger: Try it, Rubes. You won’t regret it…

Ruby: Okay, fine.

Ginger: Great, you ready? Cause here’s a golden opportunity–PASS THE PUCK! PASS IT! PASS IT!

Ruby: PASS IT! PASS IT!

Ginger and Ruby: GOAL! YEAH!! WOOOOHHH!!!

Ruby: (cough) Ginger?

Ginger: WOOH!! YEAH!!! Yeah–yeah, what?

Ruby: You said I wouldn’t regret it. (cough)

Ginger: Do you?

Ruby: My throat does. (cough)

Ginger: Oh, well that’s why they sell drinks…

Ruby: Right…

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