Pirates and Ninjas and Zombies, Oh My!

Ginger: Ruby?

Ruby: Yes?

Ginger: Ruby-roo?

Ruby: What?

Ginger: Rube-ster?

Ruby: Can you not hear me?

Ginger: I just like coming up with names for you.

Ruby: Of course.

Ginger: What? I have all my brothers in my phone as ninjas and nicknames. Ex-boyfriends are zombies. You…I haven’t decided on your title yet. But your nickname changes on a semi-weekly basis.

Ruby: Why do you do this?

Ginger: So unauthorized people can’t use my phone in an attempt to sabotage my life, frame me for blackmail attempts or set me up on dates.

Ruby: Of course.

Ginger: I watch TV. It’s very easy to do these things.

Ruby: You realize that they’d just need to use your phone. The phonebook nickname thing doesn’t really stop people who would attempt to sabotage your life or frame you for blackmail.

Ginger: It might give them pause. And I could use that pause to get my phone back.

Ruby: Ah. I see. How could I have been so blind.

Ginger: I don’t know, Rubilicious. I don’t know.

Ruby: Don’t call me that. And you do realize I was being sarcastic there, right?

Ginger: …maybe…

Ruby: What are you doing?

Ginger: Changing your name from “Rubilicious” in my phone…

Ruby: What are you changing it to?

Ginger: I hadn’t decided…do you want to be a ninja?

Ruby: No. I’d rather be a pirate.

Ginger: How about Ruby Pirate of the CanadianSeas?

Ruby: That’s a bit long. And incorrect.

Ginger: How about Captain Ruby-beard?

Ruby: No.

Ginger: Captain Ruby-blood?

Ruby: It’s not quite right…although blood is red…

Ginger: Captain Ruby-hawk?

Ruby: Really?

Ginger: How about Ruby the Red Pirate?

Ruby: Maybe just “Ruby the Red.”

Ginger: That sounds like a wine. Port. A port wine.

Ruby: Ginger…what are you doing?

Ginger: I’ve got it! “Ruby the Red-Any-Port-In-A-Storm Pirate!”

Ruby: I get to veto, right?

Ginger: Fine. Ruby the Red.

Ruby: Thank you.

Ginger: …ninja…

Ruby: GINGER!

Ginger: …pirate…

Ruby: What is my name in your phone?

Ginger: …Ruby the Red Ninja-Pirate.

Ruby: I suppose I should be thankful pirate made it in there at all.

Ginger: I’d go with that. It’s my phone.

Ruby: Fair enough.

Ginger: Wait…what are you doing?

Ruby: Changing your name in my phone.

Ginger: …to…what, exactly?

Ruby: “Ginger the Zombie-Pirate.”

Ginger: I get to be a zombie-pirate?! That’s so cool! Wait…are we breaking up?

Ruby: What?

Ginger: My ex-boyfriends are zombies.

Ruby: Oh. No, you’re a zombie-pirate. That’s way different from regular zombie. For one thing, you’re on a pirate ship.

Ginger: Oh. Well that’s okay then.

Ruby: Glad you approve.

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