How Do Your DVD’s Get Organized?

Ruby: Ginger, I’m here. What’s the emergency?

Ginger: Look.

Ruby: Okay. Look at…what?

Ginger: Wait, before we proceed any further, what were you doing before I called you over here?

Ruby: Reading a trashy romance novel on the couch.

Ginger: Okay, so, nothing really important?

Ruby: I’ve known you for a while, now, Ginger. Your definition of “emergency” changes from day to day and you’ve never actually called me for a true emergency. If I had anything better to do today, I would have demanded more information before coming over here.

Ginger: Okay, just so long as we are both clear on the situation.

Ruby: You may proceed. What am I looking at?

Ginger: My DVD’s. They’re a total mess!

Ruby: They’re…all on shelves, neatly arranged.

Ginger: Arranged? ARRANGED?! ARRANGED?!

Ruby: They’re not in stacks or flung willy-nilly around your living room.

Ginger: They’re a total mess! I can’t live in this chaos!

Ruby: Ginger, you are aware that your DVD’s are the only thing that is actually neat and tidy in this entire room, right?

Ginger: When the DVD’s are in the right order, the rest of the room follows suit. Help me, Ruby Flash, you’re my only hope!

Ruby: You know you’re odd, right?

Ginger: I just need you to hand me the DVD’s in the right order.

Ruby: I can do that.

Ginger: Okay, so, on the top shelf, we keep all the classics and sagas – Star Wars, any Shakespeare, and all the Batman movies – which, of course, easily fades into the superhero genre. Hand me Iron Man, Captain America and The Avengers.

Ruby: How is it Batman is a classic and/or saga, but the Marvel movies aren’t?

Ginger: Because Bruce Wayne witnessed his parents’ murders and then went on a lifelong quest to rid GothamCity of evil. Provide me with a definition of a saga that doesn’t include that.

Ruby: Right. Shouldn’t Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog go up with sagas, then? It’s pretty much the modern Greek tragedy.

Ginger: Ruby, it’s a musical. It goes with the musicals, right next to Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

Ruby: Okay, but then, why is it also next to SLiTHER?

Ginger: Because it’s part of the Nathan Fillion Collection. Duh.

Ruby: You have an interesting idea of when “Duh” applies to a situation.

Ginger: Look, Waitress is an unconventional love story which goes between SLiTHER and Ten Inch Hero. Because they’re all unconventional love stories. SLiTHER also happens to blend well into Dr. Horrible because Nathan Fillion is on the side of good in both stories and Dr. Horrible then fades into Sweeney Todd because they’re both musicals leaving you cheering for the anti-hero.

Ruby: Okay, but, then, why does Sweeney Todd sit next to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?

Ginger: I can’t help it if Johnny Depp does more than one musical that leaves you cheering for the guy with funny hair. All I can do is sing along with them.

Ruby: Can I ask one more question?

Ginger: Only if it’s not how the Jason Statham Collection fits into the middle of the DVD shelf. I’m afraid spoilers would be involved and I still hold hope that some day I will get you to sit down to watch all of his films.

Ruby: Yeah. That’s always funny.

Ginger: I know, right?

Ruby: No, my question was simply why is The Cutting Edge next to what I’m assuming can only be the Johnny Depp Collection?

Ginger: I’m glad you asked, Ruby – towards the end of the Johnny Depp Collection, as you so aptly caught on, you’ll see there are Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Obviously, those are pirate movies and we both know how much I want to be a pirate.

Ruby: Only on the days you don’t want to be a ninja.

Ginger: Precisely. And watching the Pirates movies makes me feel like I’m a pirate. And watching The Cutting Edge makes me want to be and yet, still feel like I have already become, an Olympic medal winning figure skater.

Ruby: Oh, that’s why it’s next to Dirty Dancing.

Ginger: You’re catching on.

Ruby: And that leads into your fairy tale collection, doesn’t it?

Ginger: Yes. Yes, it does. Because we both know it’s pretty much a fairy tale that I’ll ever get into one of those careers.

Ruby: Yes, you and your aspirations…pirate, figure skater, dance instructor, princess…cowboy and/or alien.

Ginger: Cowboys & Aliens blends really well into 3:10 To Yuma, though, and that brings us into Serenity, which of course brings us to Firefly.

Ruby: Okay…but…how does White House Down connect to Die Hard?

Ginger: They’re practically the same movie, Ruby. Yet, individually entertaining.

Ruby: I am glad to see the Die Hard collection is next to White Christmas.

Ginger: Well, it IS my favorite Christmas movie…

Ruby: Die Hard, right?

Ginger: Of course…did you think I meant White Christmas? That’s crazy talk.

Ruby: Ginger…I’ve been with you this whole time, right?

Ginger: Yes.

Ruby: And, you’ve been moving DVD’s around on your shelf, right?

Ginger: Obviously.

Ruby: Then why is the living room suddenly neat and tidy?

Ginger: I told you – when the DVD’s are in the right order, the rest of the room follows suit.

Ruby: Ginger…that’s not…

Ginger: Also, Elle has been cleaning the room this entire time. She wanted to donate some clothes to charity, I told her she could take whatever she knew I wasn’t going to wear any time soon from my closets. And that turned into Elle re-organizing my closets. Which caused chaos. And led me to my DVD’s.

Elle: Hey, Ruby – you’ve been chatting with Ginger this whole time and I didn’t want to interrupt.

Ruby: I am…really happy to see you, Elle.

Elle: It’s good to see you, too, Ruby.

Ginger: Ooh, Rubes – can you hand me Ghostbusters? I think it will fit quite nicely next to Supernatural.


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