Ruby: Happy New Year!
Ginger: Wow, another year yawning before us, waiting for us to fill it with joy, wonder, and excitement!
Ruby: The year is yawning already?
Ginger: Well, I did have to get up early this morning for the first time in weeks.
Ruby: Oh, yeah. True.
Ginger: And I had to make my own coffee.
Ruby: Life is hard like that.
Ginger: So I’ve learned.
Ruby: Anyway, here we are. At the brink of another year.
Ginger: It’s a rather daunting sight, really.
Ruby: Ginger, that’s Lake Michigan.
Ginger: Well, in which direction is the new year?
Ruby: It’s not a physical location, it’s…oh, never mind. All around you.
Ginger: It’s still daunting. And kinda scary. Like it could smother us at any minute.
Ruby: You are so weird.
Ginger: Don’t step there! That’s February 29th!
Ruby: There IS NO February 29th this year!
Ginger: Thanks to you and your careless steps, Ruby. Think of all the children who won’t have a birthday this year now!
Ruby: I repeat: You are so weird.
Ginger: Those poor people…not getting a year older this year…waitaminnut…quick, Rubes! We’ve gotta find October and March and start stomping!!!
Ruby: It really doesn’t work like that, Ginger…
Ginger: Says who? Calendar printers? Blackberries? Realists?! I say pooh-pooh on all of them! Let’s make 2014 the year we don’t recognize reality!
Ruby: I thought that was what we did in 2013…
Ginger: Oh, yeah. Well, then, in that case…what do you want to do for 2014?
Ruby: Um…y’know…reality isn’t all it’s cracked up to be…
Ruby: And we have more fun when we eliminate the possible…
Ruby: All right, fine. We can make 2014 the second year we don’t recognize reality.
Ginger: Well, only if you want to…
Ruby: So what’s the first thing you want to do in this new year?
Ginger: Beat your fiancé at Bananagrams.
Ruby: Good luck.
Ginger: In this reality-less new year, I believe it’s quite possible.
Ruby: Just because you and I are ignoring the rules of reality doesn’t mean Fly will, too. Or the rules of Bananagrams will, either.
Ginger: Hmm. I guess I’ll just have to defeat him mercilessly at Pictionary Man.
Ruby: Sounds fair enough.
Ginger: Shall we go forth into a brave new year, delicately not treading on the dates we wish to actually visit?
Ruby: After you.
Ginger: You’re too kind.
Ruby: Happy New Year!