Missing For A Week

Ruby: Ginger?! Ginger?!

Ginger: …what?

Ruby: You’re here?

Ginger: Where else would I be?

Ruby: You’re…you… Why didn’t you answer your phone? I’ve been calling you!!

Ginger: Oh. I forgot.

Ruby: You forgot?!

Ginger: Well…yeah. I guess.

Ruby: How could you forget to call me back to say you’re not dead?!

Ginger: Um. I was…busy?

Ruby: Busy doing what?!

Ginger: Well, first I watched all the episodes of The Glades, but then…well, with how that ended and suddenly got cancelled, I was all angry and bitter again, so I thought I might be over the sting of the sudden cancellation of Alphas. So I watched all of that.

Ruby: You’ve been sitting here watching TV shows? This whole time?

Ginger: It turned out I was just as upset by the ending on a cliffhanger for Alphas as I was the first time. Which turned into anger and bitterness and frustration, so I thought I could use a good chuckle or two, so I watched all of Farscape, but then, of course, that ended rather unceremoniously as well, due to another sudden and ill-thought-out cancellation.

Ruby: I still can’t believe you own all of these on DVD.

Ginger: …why wouldn’t I? THEY WERE GOOD SHOWS.

Ruby: Okay, Ginger, calm down…

Ginger: So, then I thought I needed to have a break from sci-fi…

Ruby: Do I point out now that The Glades wasn’t sci-fi, or should I wait?

Ginger: …so I put on Wonderfalls, only to remember that it, too, was suddenly and mercilessly cancelled.

Ruby: Wonderfalls? The show about the girl who talked to Niagara Falls souvenirs? That’s not sci-fi, but The Glades – a drama about a Chicago cop who moved to Florida – is sci-fi in this conversation? Really?

Ginger: And I started to wonder if I own any show that wasn’t hurtful in its cancellation…so while I contemplated that, I watched what I had of Bunheads. Which, I remembered as soon as the bananas were distributed, was also cancelled. Suddenly and unfairly!

Ruby: Wow.

Ginger: But, then, I needed to calm down, so I watched Firefly – even though it was cancelled my heart shatters each time I hear Jubal Early’s last line.

Ruby: I can’t even express my lack of surprise at that statement.

Ginger: And you can’t watch Firefly without watching Serenity, so I did, and I started to feel better.

Ruby: Good…

Ginger: Until I put it away on the shelf and saw John Carter, which had an ending that was a set up for a sequel. That hasn’t seen the light of day for some stupid reason.

Ruby: Oh, no…

Ginger: And then I watched it. And I still enjoyed it. And as I put that away, starting to get a little steamed again, my eye was caught by Rock-n-Rolla, which promises a sequel in the end credits – but have you seen a sequel to that? Because I haven’t!

Ruby: Ginger…you’re talking about hours and hours and hours and…HOURS of TV and movie watching here…when did you start this spiral?

Ginger: What day is it?

Ruby: Monday.

Ginger: Wow, I got a lot done in two days.

Ruby: It’s January 27th, Ginger.

Ginger: …nuh-uh.

Ruby: Yes-huh.

Ginger: That would mean I’ve missed a whole week just watching movies and TV.

Ruby: Yeah. Which is why I thought you had died.

Ginger: That’s crazy. How would I have died, in your insane scenario? My TV ate me while I slept? A mysterious shooting in my new home on my wedding day? Zombies? A strange brain-wave-altering bomb going off underground nearby? Aliens? A strange pixelating gun that hits when I’m fishing on a remote lake? Starvation? A bank robbery gone horribly awry? Allergic reaction to sunlight? My ballet teacher strangles me when she finds out my heart was broken by a boy? Reavers? Therns? Cockney mafia bosses send an assassin?

Ruby: …I actually figured you went to take a bubble bath and decided your electronic goldfish needed a change of scenery and somehow managed to electrocute yourself in the bathtub.

Ginger: With my electronic goldfish? Who swims on batteries?

Ruby: You’re very talented when you’re not thinking about it.

Ginger: True. I guess you have a point. But why would you wait so long, if it’s been a full week?

Ruby: I debated wanting to be the one who found you. Fly said I had to, though, as your closest friend.

Ginger: Makes sense.

Ruby: …did you really just spoil all the endings of those shows and movies?

Ginger: They didn’t get renewed or sequels. People NEED to be angry.

Ruby: Right. How did you not realize you missed work all week?

Ginger: …that’s probably why my manager kept calling…hmm. I think I need to make a phonecall…


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