Hitting the Morning Hard

Ruby: Mmph. Ginger – we’ve talked about you calling me this early on Saturdays.

Fly: Why does Ginger call you early…ever?

Ruby: Oh, hey, Fly… Hey. Fly?

Fly: Yes?

Ruby: Why are you calling me this early on a Saturday?

Fly: I need your help with something on my computer and I need to get to the hospital soon.

Ruby: …do I have time to put down the phone long enough to pee?

Fly: I suppose.

Ruby: Okay. Hang on.

Ginger: Hey, Rubes.

Ruby: What are you doing here? This early? On a Saturday?

Ginger: You have that weird rule about no calling you before 9 A.M. on Saturdays.

Ruby: That’s not really an explanation…

Ginger: I had this thing I had to do.

Ruby: What thing?

Ginger: Stopping by here and make you breakfast in bed…?

Ruby: You’ve been forbidden to cook in my kitchen.

Ginger: Cereal qualifies as breakfast.

Ruby: I…have to pee before I can deal with you.

Ginger: Okay. Hey, who was on the phone?

Ruby: Fly is on the phone.

Ginger: How come FLY gets to call you before 9 A.M. on Saturdays, but I get a lecture and a stern hang-up while I’m mid-crisis?

Ruby: Why are you even awake?! You whine about getting out of bed before 9 A.M. all week long!!

Ginger: Yeah, but…now it’s up to me, not convention. Hey, Fly!

Fly: …hi…Ginger…why are you…never mind.

Ginger: You realized you didn’t really want to know?

Fly: Pretty much.

Ruby: Get Off The Phone, Ginger!!

Ginger: I Can’t HEAR You! I Don’t TALK To People On The Toilet!!

Fly: I’m pretty sure I can’t hear ever again now. Thank you.

Ginger: You’ll be fine. God gave you two ears, and one wasn’t pulling its weight yet.

Fly: Ginger, for the last time – I’m the doctor. Not you.

Ginger: I have watched years of M*A*S*H and General Hospital and St. Elsewhere and Grey’s Anatomy. I’m practically a fictional doctor by law.

Fly: Still not the same thing as a real doctor with an actual degree.

Ginger: Why did you call Ruby before 9 A.M.? She gets all uppity with me when I do that.

Fly: I have a computer problem and I need her help.

Ruby: Give me the phone and go make coffee, Ginger.

Ginger: I already made a coffee run…

Ruby: This time, for me.

Ginger: Oh. Bye, Fly.

Fly: Bye, Ginger.

Ginger: When I come back, can we go see a movie?

Ruby: A movie?

Ginger: Well, after we finish shoe-shopping.

Ruby: That was your thing, wasn’t it?

Ginger: It’s like you’re catching on…

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