Ruby: Hey, Ginger, what’s up?
Ginger: What do you know about fish?
Ruby: Are we cooking it or keeping it as a pet?
Ruby: I know you have unsuccessfully had a multitude of fish and that the only fish that survived longer than a week was addicted to Oreo cookies and then it went crazy when you took away the Oreo cookie “snack time” and went on a killing rampage in the tank.
Ginger: You say “rampage” like he had a chainsaw or something…
Ruby: Why are you trying to keep a fish again?
Ginger: I’m just looking. There’s this really adorable fish and I think he and I might have bonded.
Ruby: Did you feed him Oreo cookies?
Ginger: The fish guy won’t let me feed anything in these tanks.
Ruby: Have you shared your previous fish-owning-stories with the “fish guy?”
Ginger: I think he heard your brief summary regarding my Dexter-like goldfish through the phone…he’s suggesting hamsters…
Ruby: I never said your fish was like Dexter. Dexter didn’t have an addiction to Oreo cookies.
Ginger: What do you know about hamsters?
Ruby: They will get out and then you will have a need for a pet snake.
Ginger: Will I name the snake Rayland after naming all the hamsters after the Crowder family?
Ruby: Yes. You will.
Ginger: The hamster girl is saying I look like a bird enthusiast…
Ruby: I’m so glad she watches Justified. Not everyone does, you know.
Ginger: I know. So, what do you know about birds?
Ruby: I know you had one that soon developed a taste for human blood.
Ginger: I probably shouldn’t have named that parakeet Dracula…
Ruby: Why did you, again?
Ginger: He had reddish eyes.
Ruby: Parakeets don’t have reddish eyes.
Ginger: They do when you shine a flashlight directly in their eyes at eleven o’clock at night.
Ruby: Why would you do that?
Ginger: I was a really stupid eight year old…the bird guy is pointing at the lizards. He won’t even let me near the squawkers…
Ruby: Probably because you’re calling them “Dracula” and “squawkers” and admitting you were a bad bird owner once.
Ginger: That could be a contributing factor. So…
Ruby: I know nothing about lizards.
Ginger: Nothing at all?
Ruby: Correction – I know that your brother once placed an anole near your face on your pillow and then woke you up just as the anole jumped at you.
Ginger: I’m not taking another step towards the lizards anymore.
Ruby: Why are you in a pet store?
Ginger: I’m waiting for Dawn. She’s getting kitty litter for her cat.
Ruby: Ah. Ginger?
Ruby: Do the world a favor… Do Not Get A Pet.
Ginger: What do you know about ferns?
Ruby: Cactus, Ginger. Get a cactus.