…with envy?

Ruby: Um…Ginger?

Ginger: Yes?

Ruby: Why are you…green?

Ginger: Why aren’t you?

Ruby: Because…well…sweetie, you wear green on St. Patrick’s Day, but typically, we don’t paint ourselves green…

Ginger: Maybe you don’t, but the cool people do.

Ruby: You have noticed that you’re the only one in the bar who is entirely green, right?

Ginger: Maybe I’m the only cool person in the bar.

Ruby: Are you calling me uncool?

Ginger: Is the law on my side if I say ‘Aye’?

Ruby: No.

Ginger: In that case, no, Ruby. You are cool. You’re setting your own precedent by not going completely green on St. Patrick’s Day.

Ruby: It may be foolish, but I’m going to ask you again. Why are you green?

Ginger: Would you believe I’m green with envy?

Ruby: No.

Ginger: My green thumb disease has spread?

Ruby: I don’t think so.

Ginger: I have gan-green?

Ruby: No, and you’re getting points taken away for bad puns.

Ginger: I had points?

Ruby: Focus…

Ginger: I’m really an alien.

Ruby: Try again.

Ginger: I’m carrying an alien’s child and this is my motherly glow.

Ruby: Did you ever notice the further you get from the truth, the more entertaining the story?

Ginger: I have, actually…

Ruby: But I still want to know…

Ginger: I was crossing the street and a truck of nuclear waste spilled on me, turning me into a Miss Marvel look-alike.

Ruby: Miss Marvel was green?

Ginger: I think it was Miss Marvel…maybe it was only her hair.

Ruby: Back on track, though…green. Why?

Ginger: I was walking by the Chicago River when they were dying it green and some of the dye splashed on me and turned me green?

Ruby: I highly doubt that…

Ginger: I’ve become part plant and this is my chloro…plastic nature…

Ruby: I might have dropped it if you could remember the word “chlorophyll.”

Ginger: Darn.

Ruby: Why are you green?

Ginger: I was doing green streaks in my hair and taking a bubble bath at the same time and forgot that my hair shouldn’t come into contact with the bubble bath and when it did, some of the bubbles turned green and I thought it looked cool and got distracted and when I got out of the tub and saw my hair was still – okay, mostly still – in the hair net thingie that came with the streak thing and most of my skin had a greenish tinge and…I’ve tried several soaps…and…are you laughing at me?

Ruby: …no. I’m laughing with you…

Ginger: I’m not laughing!

Ruby: You should be…Ginger, how long were you in the tub?

Ginger: Well, I had a cd playing…

Ruby: Which cd?

Ginger: It might have been the soundtrack to Les Miserables.

Ruby: So, it was really more like 2 cd’s.

Ginger: Yes…

Ruby: Wow. Didn’t anyone at the office said anything?

Ginger: I worked from home today.

Ruby: Yeah. Well. Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Ginger.

Ginger: Thanks, Rubes. You, too.

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