What’s In A Name?

Ginger: Are you still watching this show?

Ruby: …the TV isn’t even on!

Ginger: I recognize that look. You’re mentally watching it right now.

Ruby: How could you possibly recognize a look when you’re the one who wears it 99% of the time?

Ginger: I have excellent self-awareness.

Ruby: What are you doing right now?

Ginger: Doodling. Oh, look at that…it kinda looks like your sister.

Ruby: On what planet?

Ginger: …Neptune?

Ruby: At least draw a helmet around her head, then, so she can breathe.

Ginger: Good point.

Ruby: Now what are you doing?

Ginger: I’m writing her name so that people who stumble across this notepad in the future will know that Beth Emerald Tiara Flash once visited Neptune.

Ruby: Beth…what, now?

Ginger: Beth Emerald Tiara Flash. That’s her full name.

Ruby: No. No, it really isn’t.

Ginger: Let’s review.

Ruby: Must we?

Ginger: Your middle name is Ursula, giving you the first two initials that also are the first two letters of your name – R. U.

Ruby: How do you tune out on me when I try to explain important things that actually matter? I want to get back to the episode of Doctor Who I was mentally watching…

Ginger: I don’t hand out trade secrets like that.

Ruby: Not even if I offer you chocolate?

Ginger: …not…well… You’re getting off subject. I’m assuming your parents also graced Beth with a middle name that would offer her the opportunity to make her last name assist in the Initials Spelling Out Your First Name theme.

Ruby: I think I actually do have some chocolates around here somewhere…

Ginger: Also, since your name is Ruby, I’m assuming your parents gave Beth a gem of a middle name—

Ruby: Ugh. That’s an awful pun.

Ginger: I know, but it was too tempting to resist. And the only gem I can think of that starts with an E is Emerald.

Ruby: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

Ginger: Wait till I get going! Where was I?

Ruby: Australia.

Ginger: I was not! Your sister’s middle name is, therefore, Emerald. And since the third letter in Beth is T, I assume – correctly, I’m guessing – that she has two middle names, like all normal people, and that she was born Beth Emerald Tiara Flash.

Ruby: Should I mention that Beth’s middle name is actually Evelyn?

Ginger: Probably not. It’s already written in pencil on this notepad as Emerald Tiara. It’s not like I can just erase it on a whim, now.

Ruby: Ooh! I found the chocolate!

Ginger: Be prepared to learn how to – that’s dark chocolate.

Ruby: Yes.

Ginger: I prefer milk chocolate or white chocolate.

Ruby: Does this mean you’re not going to teach me how to stop listening to you?

Ginger: Yes.

Ruby: More chocolate for me. I don’t see how this isn’t a win for me.

Ginger: I can’t help you when you’re like this.

Ruby: I know. And I’m okay with that right now.

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