Ginger: Look! Look! Look!
Ginger: But they’re MAGIC.
Ruby: No, they claim to be magic.
Ginger: There’s no fine print saying they’re not magic!
Ruby: Yes, there is. It’s right there.
Ginger: Oh. Well, that’s disheartening.
Ruby: So, can we walk away now?
Ruby: Why not?
Ginger: How many reasons must I provide?
Ruby: Three. And they have to be good ones.
Ginger: Okay. One – They’re MAGIC BEANS.
Ruby: That’s not a good reason.
Ginger: Fine. One – They’re coffee beans.
Ruby: I’ll allow that as a reason.
Ginger: Thank you. Two – they’re called MAGIC BEANS.
Ruby: That’s a very shaky reason.
Ginger: Deal with it. Three – it’s MY money.
Ruby: Okay, fine. You can buy one bag of Magic Coffee Beans. But that’s it.
Ginger: Can I sing “Maybe They’re Really Magic” while I carry them throughout the store?
Ginger: Can I sing “Giants In the Sky” while I carry them throughout the store?
Ginger: Can I sing anything from Into the Woods while I carry them throughout the store?
Ruby: Only if you want to be left to walk home from the store.
Ginger: I do not.
Ruby: Then I would not recommend singing about having magic beans.
Ginger: Thank you for letting me tag along on your shopping trip, Ruby.
Ruby: Thank you for using the word “letting.” It sounds like I had a choice.
Ginger: You had the choice of bringing me with or leaving me to sit in your apartment. Alone. While I waited for your return.
Ruby: That’s not actually a choice, you know…
Ginger: It is.
Ruby: The last time I left you alone in my apartment while I did a quick grocery run, I came back to find you had rearranged the books on my bookshelf.
Ginger: Yeah. Good times.
Ruby: You’re going to want to make a pot of the magic beans coffee when we get back to my place, aren’t you?
Ruby: We’ll need creamer, then.
Ginger: I’ll add it to your list for you!
Ruby: Okay, but please remove the other additions you’ve made to the list.
Ginger: What other additions?
Ruby: Let’s see – “Unicorn food,” “Zombie repellent,” and the five times you wrote “Chocolate” on the list.
Ginger: Oh, you have all that at your place already?
Ruby: Yes. Yes, I do.
Ginger: Because I’ve noticed your chocolate cabinet is seriously lacking in chocolate.
Ruby: For the eighth time, Ginger, there is no chocolate cabinet in my apartment.
Ginger: Then you don’t have chocolate at home. You lied to me. Oh! I have to get that for Lightbulb!
Ruby: That’s a chew toy for a dog…
Ginger: Lightbulb gets very bored when I’m away at work.
Ruby: Maybe you should email her.
Ginger: I do. He’s just awful about responding, though… I’m hoping the magic beans will help.
Ruby: I cannot believe I’m saying this, but, Ginger, you cannot feed your chicken coffee beans.
Ginger: Lightbulb only drinks his coffee with seven sugars, though.
Ginger: Kidding! Wow. It’s like you think I’m trying to kill my chicken. I’m not.
Ruby: Okay. Good.
Ginger: I don’t let him have sugar.
Ginger: Anymore…hey, look! There’s a sale on bananas! Can I sing “Day-O” if I buy some?
Ruby: …maybe rearranging the books could have been tolerated, after all…