Magic Beans

Ginger: Look! Look! Look!

Ruby: No.

Ginger: Please??

Ruby: No.

Ginger: But they’re MAGIC.

Ruby: No, they claim to be magic.

Ginger: There’s no fine print saying they’re not magic!

Ruby: Yes, there is. It’s right there.

Ginger: Oh. Well, that’s disheartening.

Ruby: So, can we walk away now?

Ginger: No.

Ruby: Why not?

Ginger: How many reasons must I provide?

Ruby: Three. And they have to be good ones.

Ginger: Okay. One – They’re MAGIC BEANS.

Ruby: That’s not a good reason.

Ginger: Fine. One – They’re coffee beans.

Ruby: I’ll allow that as a reason.

Ginger: Thank you. Two – they’re called MAGIC BEANS.

Ruby: That’s a very shaky reason.

Ginger: Deal with it. Three – it’s MY money.

Ruby: Okay, fine. You can buy one bag of Magic Coffee Beans. But that’s it.

Ginger: Can I sing “Maybe They’re Really Magic” while I carry them throughout the store?

Ruby: No.

Ginger: Can I sing “Giants In the Sky” while I carry them throughout the store?

Ruby: Nope.

Ginger: Can I sing anything from Into the Woods while I carry them throughout the store?

Ruby: Only if you want to be left to walk home from the store.

Ginger: I do not.

Ruby: Then I would not recommend singing about having magic beans.

Ginger: Thank you for letting me tag along on your shopping trip, Ruby.

Ruby: Thank you for using the word “letting.” It sounds like I had a choice.

Ginger: You had the choice of bringing me with or leaving me to sit in your apartment. Alone. While I waited for your return.

Ruby: That’s not actually a choice, you know…

Ginger: It is.

Ruby: The last time I left you alone in my apartment while I did a quick grocery run, I came back to find you had rearranged the books on my bookshelf.

Ginger: Yeah. Good times.

Ruby: You’re going to want to make a pot of the magic beans coffee when we get back to my place, aren’t you?

Ginger: Obviously.

Ruby: We’ll need creamer, then.

Ginger: I’ll add it to your list for you!

Ruby: Okay, but please remove the other additions you’ve made to the list.

Ginger: What other additions?

Ruby: Let’s see – “Unicorn food,” “Zombie repellent,” and the five times you wrote “Chocolate” on the list.

Ginger: Oh, you have all that at your place already?

Ruby:  Yes. Yes, I do.

Ginger: Because I’ve noticed your chocolate cabinet is seriously lacking in chocolate.

Ruby: For the eighth time, Ginger, there is no chocolate cabinet in my apartment.

Ginger: Then you don’t have chocolate at home. You lied to me. Oh! I have to get that for Lightbulb!

Ruby: That’s a chew toy for a dog…

Ginger: Lightbulb gets very bored when I’m away at work.

Ruby: Maybe you should email her.

Ginger: I do. He’s just awful about responding, though… I’m hoping the magic beans will help.

Ruby: I cannot believe I’m saying this, but, Ginger, you cannot feed your chicken coffee beans.

Ginger: Duh.

Ruby: Okay.

Ginger: Lightbulb only drinks his coffee with seven sugars, though.

Ruby: WHAT?!

Ginger: Kidding! Wow. It’s like you think I’m trying to kill my chicken. I’m not.

Ruby: Okay. Good.

Ginger: I don’t let him have sugar.

Ruby: Good.

Ginger: Anymore…hey, look! There’s a sale on bananas! Can I sing “Day-O” if I buy some?

Ruby: …maybe rearranging the books could have been tolerated, after all…

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