Laundry Stories

Ruby: I have to go get the laundry out of the dryer. Stay here and don’t cause trouble.

Ginger: I never cause trouble. You just don’t understand my humor.

Ruby: Yeah. That’s the problem. Stay here.

Ginger: Don’t leave me alone! You know I watched a horror movie on TV last week and if you leave me alone, I might end up thinking I hear the creature that they made up from mixing ancient folklore and heresy coming in through your bedroom window and I might try to find the pendant that repels the evil beast in your movie collection and—

Ruby: Fine. Come with. Just get your shoes on and hurry up.

Ginger: I’ll be right there.

Ruby: Okay, but hurry up…

Ginger: I’m hurrying!

Ruby: …why would the pendant that repels evil be in my movie collection?

Ginger: What?

Ruby: Why would the pendant that repels evil be in my movie collection?

Ginger: You dropped it there when you tried to repel the evil beast but failed.

Ruby: I failed to repel the evil beast?

Ginger: Fear is nothing to be ashamed of, Ruby.

Ruby: Doesn’t that mean I died?

Ginger: Not necessarily. I’m pretty sure you just ended up needing hospitalization or something.

Ruby: Well, at least I didn’t die for nothing.

Ginger: You kinda died for laundry. You are the one who left me alone so you could go collect laundry.

Ruby: I didn’t leave you alone! I’m right here!

Ginger: Yeah, but only because I told you what would have happened if you left me alone.

Ruby: It is shocking how horrible your logic is.

Ginger: Or is it shocking how incredibly well I can convince you to listen to my logistic loopholes while I tie my shoes?

Ruby: Toe-may-toe, toe-mah­-toe…

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