It’s Not A Habit If It’s Necessary

Ruby: Okay, for the last time: You are not obligated to move every time you find a hole in a wall.

Ginger: It wasn’t a hole in the wall. It was a neighbor with a loud sneeze.

Ruby: How often does a person sneeze?

Ginger: It’s not a question of ‘how often.’ It’s a question of ‘timing.’ Do you know how many key plot points I have missed due to an actor’s choice of lowering his voice while my neighbor Achoo’s his way from one side of his apartment to the next?

Ruby: You could always turn up the volume.

Ginger: You could just help me lift these boxes.

Ruby: But then you’ll think I’m helping you move. You’re moving yourself, honey. I’m not enabling this bizarre habit of yours anymore.

Ginger: It’s not a bizarre habit! And you’re helping me. You’re here.

Ruby: I’m here as part of an intervention.

Ginger: An intervention of one in jeans and gym shoes and work-gloves?

Ruby: I never said it was going as planned.

Ginger: Ah. Come on, this is heavy!

Ruby: Fine. But this is still a bizarre habit.

Ginger: Why?

Ruby: Why did you move out of your studio?

Ginger: I moved because rent was going to go up and Elle wanted a roommate.

Ruby: Why did you move out of Elle’s?

Ginger: Elle wanted a dog.

Ruby: And this one?

Ginger: Again: the sneezer. And the neighborhood. And the other pets I wasn’t looking to keep.

Ruby: Pets?

Ginger: Roaches. Don’t look now, but there’s Florence. She and Mabel aren’t speaking to one another right now, so Henry and Fletcher are being forced to meet in secret to discuss the newest World Conquest Plots.

Ruby: You named the roaches?

Ginger: I tried killing them, but then they started smacking me with tissue boxes. I gave in to their demands. But they agreed to let me move out if I swore to keep their hidden hideaway of World Conquest a secret.

Ruby: Hidden Hideaway of World Conquest?

Ginger: I may have let them watch a certain episode of The Fairly Oddparents in which the cockroaches – when granted super-intelligence – began their hostile takeover of the world. They might have gotten ideas.

Ruby: You “let them” watch TV with you?

Ginger: Tissue boxes hurt when wielded by the little punks. At least they didn’t demand I watch Dirty Jobs 24-7.

Ruby: Well, aren’t you the lucky one?

Ginger: But the good news is they’re all Browncoats. Well, Brown-wings. They want the Alliance taken down, man.

Ruby: Yeah…maybe it is time for you to move.

Ginger: Gee, ya think?

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